


handsome

by cherryjessarchive



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Developing Friendships, F/M, Kinda soft tbh, Long, Multi, Seoul, Slow Build, Slow Romance, University, Weird Plot Shit, and i want to put them all on paper, being friends w skz but also chan is a love interest, friends w idols, friends w skz, gonna be twenty plus chapters idk yet, i just have too many ideas, jk thirty plus chapters, just for fun, laidback, there's a plot but also there isn't
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:00:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 25,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27997899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryjessarchive/pseuds/cherryjessarchive
Summary: Just as you were about to grab the broom to sweep, a guy dressed in all black walked in..."Name?"He looked around the empty café and gave a scrunched look that asked, is that necessary? but said his name anyway."Chan."-- - -- - --This story is gonna be reallyyyy long so please bare with me haha.In progress. (01/2021)- J
Relationships: Bang Chan/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /thoughts/ of the main character are italicized between slashes.  
> Korean - When a character speaks Korean it is italicized  
> English - When a character speaks English it has no effect.  
> This story is set in 2020 if COVID never existed.
> 
> Enjoy maybe

You look at the clock. 

12 AM. 

Your blurry eyes strained to stay in focus. You’ve had about 5 cups of coffee since you started work at 8 in the morning. Normally, you’d work your eight hours at the café then go home to rest or study. Today, however, you’ve decided to cover for your coworker and friend, Khleo, who had to leave for a family emergency. She's taken several days off since her grandmother has been ill; enough so, that if she asked for tonight off, your boss would probably fire her. So out of the kindness of your heart and your lack of real plans for the rest of the evening, you decided to take over her shift for an hour or two - just until Khleo texted you back to let you know she was on her way.

It’s been 8 hours since then. 

At first, you were worried for her - then pissed as hell . You pick up your phone and look over the messages you sent to her.

**5:40 PM**

>hey, are you okay ?? 

>just checking in on you <3

 **6:00 PM**

>it’s been 2 hours now babe, hope you’re good !

**6:27**

>wya girl 

**6:50**

>yo it’s almost 7

 **7:30**

>i just served a massive line i’m fucking tired khleo get your ass over here.

 **7:46**

>KHLEO!!

**7:47**

>i hope everything is okay but like 

>come on 

>please

>there’s no one else working Lee In just left his shift 

>i’m alone

>oh my god

>KHLEO.

 **8:20**

>bitch

>a text back would be nice 

>i am pissed 

>do not talk to me 

>just kidding 

>text back rn 

Once it hit 9 o’ clock, you gave up and just prayed for her to get there as soon as possible. Thinking about it now, you felt bad about being pissed, but assured yourself you’d never do something like this again for the sake of your own health. Your body ached from overworking. This was definitely illegal. You wiped the same coffee machine for the 3rd time. _/Or was it the 4th time?_ _/_ You couldn’t remember as drowsiness started to kick in _hard_. 

12:03 AM

_/good morningg me.../_

You thanked god closing time was only an hour away.

Just as you were about to grab the broom to sweep, a guy dressed in all black walked in. Because of his facemask, you envisioned him robbing you. Hesitantly, you greeted him. 

“ _Hi welcome to_ Kim’s Cafe how can you _help_ _you sir_?” You ask in confidence, not realizing your slip-ups. The man stared at you for a few seconds. _/Did I stutter? Was I too quiet?/_

The guy smirked and asked for a matcha. 

“Name?”

He looked around the empty cafe and gave a scrunched look that asked, ' _is that necessary? '_ but said his name anyway.

_“Chan.”_

— - — - — - — - —

Sluggish as can be, you get to work. Looking around the machines, you see the steamed milk used for lattes.

_/mmm lattess/_

You pour the steamed milk in the coffee you made and start making a weird concoction of a cinnamon-latte-tea. You look back at the man called Chan. _/haha man called chan./_

His bag hung from the chair he was sitting in, near the window. A few of its contents sprawled on the table. He was clicking around on his laptop, adjusting headphones on his head. You realize you’ve been staring at him for a second too long when he meets your gaze. 

_“Is my drink ready ye-“_

_“CHAN ! Your order is ready!”_

He bit his lip, holding back laughter.

_/What’s so funny?/_

He grabbed the drink you made him and looked at you dead in the eyes. _"_ _You need to get some sleep.”_

His stare was overpowering so you let out a strained “hahaa yeahhh” and decide to look over at your phone, noticing the screen light up. 

**_Khleooo_ ** ♡ **_:_ **

**12:17**

Kira I am so so so so sorry. I’m on my way.

 _/sorry ???/_ Your anger bubbles up again and you sleepily reply to her 

> hoeee 

> hoe ass bitch 

> get your fat ass 

> get it 

> out here 

> rn 

> bitch 

**12:18**

I deserve that.

You smack your phone down on the counter and notice Chan back at work on his laptop, his drink barely touched. You grab the broom and start sweeping with droopy eyes. Honestly, the term “sweep” is used loosely since really, you weren’t making a set pile of dirt and crumbs, instead just moving the broom back and forth. You reach Chan’s table and he looks at you with concerned eyes. _“Hey, are you alright?”_

The weight of your head forces you to nod with vigor.

“ _Here, have a seat.”_

Mindlessy, you plop down across from him. You draw your arm out to rest your head on it, facing the mysterious man. Now that his mask was off, you could clearly see his features. His skin was clear and soft, and awfully pale. His eyes deep and dark. You could see his inky hair peeking from underneath his cap. 

_/Handsomeeee./_

Chan’s eyes widen and he lets out the cutest laugh. You furrow your eyebrows, _/Did I say that out loud?/_ The lights dimmed as your eyelids grew heavier. _/Your laugh so nice, very nice./_ Chan just stared at you in your dreamy state of mind as you mumble a few other things. 

Your eyelids, too heavy to resist, shut close. 


	2. Chapter 2

You wake up to the sound of your phone buzzing. 

Your eyes struggle to open, but force yourself to look at your screen.

(6) missed calls from **_Khleooo_ **♡

(2) unread messages

**11:22 AM**

Hello ?? Kira wake up it’s late. 

Are you good??

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. As you lower your phone, panic sets in.

 _/This is not my room./_ The bed was huge compared to the twin size you had at your dorm. The sheets were white and smelled freshly washed, but the black nightstand beside you had specks of dust. Was this a hotel? 

**11:23**

> ????????????

Oh thank god you’re alive!! 

You’re okay right? 

> ????????????

You look to your right and see heavy curtains blocking the sunlight. In an attempt to figure out where you were, you jump out of bed to drag the curtains to the side. 

_/Holy shit./_ Your breath hitches as you stand in awe at the incredible view. You could see bridges stretching across Han River and the tops of buildings extending toward the mountains. The people below you were difficult to pinpoint, even when you tried to squint your eyes to focus. Before you could single out a person below you, your heart drops.

The view was incredible, but your fear of heights spoils the moment. You fall back onto the bed and slow your breathing. Your phone buzzes again. 

**_Khleooo_ ** ♡ **_is calling._ **

“Kira!! Are you okay?”

“Khleo....?”

“Yeah?”

“Where the fuck am I?”

You hear Khleo suck in a breath on the other line. “Riight, I guess you were pretty out of it. You’re okay though, right?”

Looking down, you notice you’re still in your work clothes from yesterday and grimace. “I could use a shower, but yeah, I’m okay. Why?”

“You were such a mess last night!”

The memories of taking over Khleo’s shift on top of yours come rushing back to you. “Well shit Khleo, I worked over sixteen hours! That’s illegal you know??? I could totally sue you.”  
  
“Oh. Right, yeah. Sorry about that.”  
  
The mood shifts and you remember that you worked overtime so that Khleo could see her sick grandmother.

“Hey, Khleo.” 

“Yeah?”

“How...um, how is everything? How’s your grandmother?”

“It-” she pauses, “My grandma, we found out she won’t have much time left. Like a few days.”

“Oh Khleo,”

“No, it’s okay, I’ve only been looking after her the past week, we weren’t really close!”

“But it’s a pretty big thing.” you say calmly. Khleo has always been the bubbly type, but surely she had issues of her own. You made it your mission to become closer to her when you started working at the café so that you could be the friendly shoulder for her to lean on.

“Yeah. So, I told the boss and I’ll be taking the next couple weeks off. I’ll probably be here in Busan for some of it. Buut I think that means you’re gonna be taking over my shift since Lee In can’t do nights; sorry!”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Take all the time you need! And if you need somebody, I’ll be on the next train out, ASAP.” You smile, meaning every word.  
  
“Thanks, Kira.” You could feel her smiling back and take a mental note to make a cute care package for her this weekend.

After the comforting pause, Khleo sucks in her breath again. “Oh my god! Kira, can you believe it??? He’s fucking rich isn’t he!? What does it look like in there?? Are you up high??”

You snap back to your current situation and dart your eyes around the room. “He? W-what?”

Khleo lets out a laugh, “He? Yeah, he! _Chan!_ ”


	3. Chapter 3

_‘...a guy dressed in all black walked in.’_

You shut your eyes to remember more.

 _‘Now that his mask was off, you could clearly see his features. His skin was clear and soft, and awfully pale. His eyes deep and dark. You could see his inky hair peeking from underneath his cap._ ’ 

“Kira? Hello??”

You shake your head out of embarrassment. With a forced hum, you respond to Khleo on the other line.

“Yeah so anyway, we couldn’t find your keys and I’m not about to have your roommate watch some random dude carry you in. Plus, I know Chan well enough to know he’s not that kind of person, so hopefully you’re okay with this. I mean Chan even voted against, being the gentleman that he is, but it was the only option! AlsoIWantedToSeeWhereHeLived.” She quickly finished her sentence and you cock your head, about to go off on her.

_“Khleo.”_

“Mmhm?”

“Repeat that _last part_ again?” You started to slip into Korean as your frustration built.

“I...wanted to see where he liv-”

_“KHLEO YOU DUMBASS!”_

_“I’M SORRY, I WAS CURIOUS,_ HE SAYS HE’S ALWAYS WORKING I WANTED TO KNOW-”

You audibly inhale and Khleo cuts her sentence short, allowing you to take three, very necessary, deep breaths to calm yourself. 

“ _Khleo. Do you want to die?”_ _  
__  
__“No ma’am.”_

You sigh. “Tell me who Chan is.”  
  
“He came almost every night near closing during summer. He’d just sit there quietly working on his laptop. Since it was usually just the two of us, I befriended him. Every now and then he comes in empty-handed and just has a conversation with me. We’ve been friends for like three months now.”

What Khleo said seemed to satisfy your question. You served regulars in the morning too, and knew a couple names and faces pretty well. 

“So, he’s not a serial killer?” You take a quick mental and physical check to make sure you were actually okay. 

“No, he’s a really genuine guy. He’s pretty private, but the way he talks about his friends, I can tell he’s got a big heart!”

Your curiosity began to creep in and you looked around the room. A small piece of paper with your name written on the front was folded neatly on the nightstand. Opening it slowly, you were shocked to see writing in English. You had been in Seoul for over a semester and gotten so used to seeing Hangul, that this simple sheet of paper made you feel nostalgic of your home back in the states.

“He left a note.”  
  
“Oh my god what does it say??”

In your head, you read the note. 

‘Hey, 

You were out like a light last night, so Khleo and I decided to just let you crash at my place. Hopefully that’s alright!

There’s bagels and fruits in the kitchen, feel free to help yourself. 

Call me if you need anything. 

0XX-XXX-XXXX

Chan :)’

Your stomach growls as you come across the words ‘bagels’ and ‘fruits.’ 

“Woah I heard that.”  
  
“Yeah, he said there’s fruits and bagels and left his number.”  
  
“Ooooooooh!!! His numberrrrr!!” Khleo teased.

“Oh please, I barely know him, Khleo. Remember what happened the last time a guy left me his number?” You painfully remind yourself of a customer who left a note with his number. You took the leap and went on a date with him, but he turned out to be a total sleaze. Right after a meal, he tried taking you to a motel.

“Yes, I know. But now that I think about it, you two would be kinda cute. Just saying.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You lift the phone from your ear to check the minutes.

“By the way, what are you doing right now? We’ve been talking for like twenty minutes.” 

_“Twenty Minutes!_? Shit, I gotta go, love you, bye!” And just like that, Khleo ended the call. 

You were left alone at Chan’s place. You tuck Chan’s note in your skinny jeans and get up to look around the room. A small bathroom was attached on one end of the room. You look in the mirror to find your hair in knots and your clothes wrinkled. 

While taking a toilet break, you notice how promising the shower looks. A soft white robe hung from the backside of the door. 

You finish up, drop down your clothes, and hop into a warm shower.

— - — - —

You mindlessly reach for a bar of soap. A chuckle escapes your mouth when you see that it’s shaped like a little kangaroo. _/Cute, I guess./_

Just like a hotel, there were little bottles of shampoo and conditioner that smelled of hibiscus and coconut. You take your time rinsing your hair and go over your plans for the day. Class is at 1:30, and seeing as you’re across Han River, it’ll probably be about 45 minutes to get to University. That would leave you with just enough time to visit your dorm for a change in clothes, but not enough time to stop somewhere to eat. You curse your empty stomach and mentally thank Chan for offering the fruit and bagels. You wrap up your shower, grab the robe, and step out of your room to find the kitchen. As you walk out, you notice a wall to your left with a large framed photo of a crowded beach. The title of the work was in small letters, _‘Australia.’_

To your right was a living room with black decor, speakers, and a flat screen TV - as well as more wall-length windows that lit the room. Just a step or two from the photo of the beach, you find the kitchen and dining table. A note stood neatly on the kitchen counter, with your name written over the front. 

Your eyes notice a hallway going further past the living room and you start to wonder where Chan’s room was. 

You shake off the curiosity and make your way to note number 2. 

‘Hey Kira, 

It’s me again. Your shoes and apron are at the door, but if you want a change in clothes you can wear something from my closet, just to borrow. ;)

Oh, and the fruits are right here ^^ :)’

You look up to see a small basket of bananas and peaches with a bag of bagels beside it. Your stomach grumbles again and you quickly take a bite of a rinsed peach. _/Change in clothes, huh../_ You really wanted to see what Chan’s room looked like, but voted against the clothes since he had already done enough to let you stay and have some food. You go back to the note and keep reading.

‘I hope this isn’t too weird, but, maybe we should hang out with Khleo sometime! It feels a little odd to let you stay here and never say hello again hahaha. 

Soo text me, maybe? 

0XX-XXX-XXXX

Chan’

A smile creeps up on you. 

It was definitely a weird situation. If he shows up at the coffee shop again, how would you even react? _/God, the coffee shop.../_ You were so sleepy the night before, you could only remember small details with Chan. You realize, he must have carried you all the way up here.

“Ahhhhrhhhhshshh fuck!” you cringe. Besides that, it seems like he has no idea about Khleo’s situation with her grandmother. You save his number, planning on messaging him when you’re out of class later.

Glancing at the time, you see that it's already ten past noon. You open up maps to see how far it is to Yonsei University, and realize you’re about an hour away. Immediately, you start to undo your robe and change back into your work clothes. You swipe the half-eaten peach, slip on your shoes and apron, and make your way out of Chan’s place.

— - — - —

Being as quick as you could, you walk through a hallway to an elevator. 

When you step in, you’re overwhelmed to see the building has 123 floors, and look up to see that you’re on the 42nd. You click the G button to get to the ground floor, and the elevator gets moving. Every now and then, it stops to let men in suits and women in pumps enter and exit the elevator. If it was possible, you'd make your presence unnoticable, but the smell of coffee from your apron easily overpowers their luxury cologne and perfumes. You tuck yourself further into a corner.

At one stop, you make eye contact with a guy standing at an intimidating 6 feet. He looked incredibly familiar, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. He holds his gaze and points out the letters on your pungent red apron. 

“Kim’s cafe? Be honest, is it any good?” 

You were shocked at his American accent, and reminded yourself how much you must have stuck out from the crowd just from being a foreigner. 

“Yeah! We’ve got quite a few regulars.” You pat yourself on the back for being walking promo. The café actually has great drinks and a lot of options, not to mention how cozy it is with bookshelves and a couch or two. 

“Hmm, maybe I’ll go one day.” he smirks. When he exits the elevator, your eyes are drawn to the endless number of exercise machines. He nods subtly before the doors shut.

Finally, you make it to the ground floor and head past the large lobby. As you step outside, you look up at the building you were in and your breath hitches for the second time today. You were staying at Lotte World Tower, also known as the tallest and most expensive building in Korea. Seeing it up close and from the outside was insane, your neck aching from craning it back. You stand in awe, once again. You start to wonder how much drugs this Chan guy had to push to have an apartment here. 

You try shaking your head back to reality and get on a bus to Yonsei.


	4. Chapter 4

After dressing out of your gross coffee clothes, you made your way to class and trudged through an hour and a half of Korean History.

Now, you were back at the dorms thanking god your roommate is gone. You take a look at her side of the room, the wall hidden behind dozens of posters of kpop idols. 

To be honest, Kpop was great. You listen to it all the time because of your roommate and also to get into the culture. You even had your favorite BTS songs here and there, but unfortunately you couldn’t match up to the level of fangirl your roommate was. You were too used to your American palette, which was trained with artists like Kendrick Lamar, Tyler, The Creator, and Chloe X Halle, to devote enough time to Kpop.

You collapse onto your bed and take a deep breath. The last 24 hours have felt like a fever dream; working like crazy, then waking up in an actual skyscraper. It was all too much to handle. 

Eventually, you doze off. 

— - — - —

“You got! Got! The rhythmmmm! Ah Ah oh ohoh!” Your eyes slowly open and you see your roommate dancing (poorly) and singing (poorly) to a song blaring in her earphones. You rub your eyes and let out a chuckle. She notices you’re up and purses her lips. 

You give her a thumbs up and mouth _/It’s okay!/_ to her, but she rolls her eyes and continues typing on her laptop. 

You never figured out why she didn’t like you, but she’s always had an attitude. You remember how happy and perky she was the first day she moved in, nearly three weeks ago. She introduced herself as Amelia from the same state as you, California, so you assumed you’d get along well. 

As she put her posters up on that first day, you asked “Who are they?” to bring on a light, fun conversation to get to know her interests a bit; but instead, her head snapped back at you and asked “You don’t know?” She was oddly serious and started playing a song called ‘Cherry Bomb.’ “Oh yeah, sounds familiar!”

“You don’t know them do you?” Her eyes almost seemed to twitch, and you realized she liked Kpop a little _too_ much. 

“Well, I guess not…”

“How are you in Korea and you don’t even know one of the best groups? Do you know who they are?” She points to one of her girl group posters. 

“Ummm…Red Velvet…?” You were innocently guessing and immediately regretted saying anything when her eyes widened with anger. 

Today, she still has some sort of rage in her that you try to stay away from. _/It’s gonna be a long semester./_

You notice the blinds are closed and check your phone for the time. 10:30 PM. It's been a whole 7 hours since you fell asleep. You tumble over to the bathroom and wash your face. _/Looks like I’m not sleeping tonight./_

Your mind slips to this morning to try to find some answers. _/Who the hell is Chan?/_ You try to picture his face but the memory is fuzzy now. Inadvertently, you remember the sound of his laugh and your heart skips a beat. Then, you thought of what Kira said, _/”But now that I think about it, you two would be kinda cute.”/_

You see your face turn pink in the mirror and wash it another time, trying to forget. 

You study your features after trying to push the thoughts away. Your skin had cleared up over the summer and your hair had grown quite a bit, reaching your waist. The outfit you changed into earlier was a black hoodie with Rico Nasty posing on the front, along with black jeans. Your ears were pierced with silver hoops while your face lacked makeup. You stared blankly until inspiration struck. For the hell of it, you grabbed your makeup bag and decided to go bold. If you aren’t gonna be sleeping tonight, might as well make the most of it. Besides, you wanted to get your mind off of Chan, especially since it’s your last semester in Korea - meaning you definitely should not be crushing on anyone. You go for a rosy eyeshadow, matching lipstick, blush and lashes. Since your nails weren’t done, you went for your emergency press-on kit to match. Since your hoodie was large enough to reach above your knee, you stripped off your black jeans and tightened a belt around your waist to make a hoodie dress. Of course, you made sure to wear short-shorts underneath so you weren’t out there bare. 

You stepped out of the bathroom and Amelia actually looked impressed. You motioned to her to take off her earphones. “You wanna go out?” 

“Um, I don’t really...it’s Thursday, you know.”

“Itaewon is always crowded! Come on, I’ll do your makeuppp!” You tempted her and noticed her hesitantly sliding her laptop out of the way. You pushed aside her stuff and dragged her to the bathroom. After small talk about the look she wanted, you finished her up with minimal blush, pinkish-nude lipstick, and colorful eyeshadow. She went against eyelashes and chose some simple pink nails. For clothes, you let her borrow your black mini dress. Compared to before you both looked completely different.

“You like it?” 

She nodded. Together, you guys looked like you could actually be good friends. 

“Let’s go!”


	5. Chapter 5

You had been dancing all night and lost Amelia somewhere in the crowd. The strobe lights and alcohol made you feel like you were on another plane. You couldn't remember how many songs had played or how many people you danced with, but you find yourself in sync with a boy a few inches taller than you. He was much more striking than the rest of the people you danced with. You take into account his long blonde hair. _"I like your hair.”_

The boy looked at you a little surprised. " _You speak Korean?”_ His voice was a little soft and hard to hear over the music, so you signal to him to meet you at the bar.

 _"You speak Korean?”_ He repeated himself.

 _"Yeah, I’ve been here for 6 months! I’m studying.”_ You say as you order another drink. 

_“Where are you from?”_ he asks, ordering a bottle of water. 

It might be the alcohol, but this guy starts to look more and more handsome as he speaks. You explain to him that you’re from the states and that you’re in Korea for a study abroad program. The two of you get along pretty well and talk as you finish your drink, feeling a bit more than tipsy. 

_"What’s yourrname?_ ”

He notices you slurring your words and stops you from carelessly ordering again. 

_“Are you here with anyone?”_ he asks, concerned. You scan your eyes across the crowd but end up getting dizzy. “Am-ameeeliaaa!” 

He looks at you confused. Your intoxicated mind offers you an idea - you unlock your phone and pull up a photo you took of her before the two of you left. He holds on to your phone as you start to sway ever so slightly. Just as he was about to ask you something else, another boy approaches him.

 _"Jinnie, it’s 2, we should go!”_ The other boy says over the music. 

You feel a hand on your shoulder and find Amelia, her jaw dropped looking at the two boys. 

_“A-Are you…???”_ She tries. Even when you’re drunk you can tell how much her Korean sucked. You chuckle to yourself.

The boys look startled and immediately make their way through the crowd out of the club. “Was that....” Amelia looks at you and realizes you were too far gone to complete sentences. 

“For fucks sake. I drank too but you look awful.” she said, shaking her head. Somehow, about an hour later, you find yourself in bed as tired as the night before. Once again, you knock out to sleep. 

— - — - —

“HEY! HEY!” You wake up to Amelia screaming in your ear and your head pounding. You throw a pillow at her in an attempt to silence her, but she only yells louder.

“WAKE UP! YOU HAVE EXPLAINING TO DO!!” You open your eyes to look at her with a death stare, but she doesn’t falter. 

“Who the hell were you talking to last night? KIRA! Wake the fuck up! I need answers and I have class in twenty minutes! Plus, who knows when you’ll be back at home seeing as you stayed who-knows-where the other night!” She was going off and you couldn’t care less. The only thing you wanted was a hangover cure. You try remembering the night before but feel your head ache even more. You muster out a “Shhut upp” which is responded with your pillow thrown back at you. “Tell! ME! BITCH!” You finally get tired of her shit and jump up on top of her, forcing your pillow onto her face.

“I’m hungover as hell. Shut. UP.” She reaches for your wrists to try to pry you off, but compared to you she’s pretty weak. You get off of her and she catches her breath. “You’re fucking CRAZY!” she screams. You roll your eyes and lie back down. You hear Amelia grab her things and stomp out. 

_/She’s insane./_

You look at the clock on the wall and suck your teeth when you see the time. 12:13 PM. You curse and think about a week ago when you had a solid routine. Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays: Wake up at 7 to get ready for work, come home at 5, then nap, study, or get ready for class. The days you had off, you’d hang with Khleo if she was free. But these past couple of days, you’ve been a huge mess. You couldn’t believe that you were waking up later and later, for reasons like working a double shift and clubbing. Seeing as Khleo is gone from work, you figure your boss will ask you to take a shift sometime soon, if not tonight. 

You reach for your phone under your pillow but fail to find it. You check if it fell underneath your bed and see nothing but specks of dust. You try to remember where you left it last, but your head pounds in response. 

_/Shit!/_


	6. Chapter 6

_/How could I lose my phone?/_

You flipped your side of the room and even peeked around Amelia’s desk, but found nothing. Your head was still throbbing from your hangover and you started to sweat from the anxiety of losing your lifeline. Everything was on that phone. Contacts, your class schedule, social media, and...photos. You’ve had it for a solid year now and it was pretty damn expensive. 

You give yourself a break and head to the shower to try to remember last night. In your head, you repainted the picture of Itaewon. There were two other clubs you and Amelia passed through before settling on the liveliest one. Your eye twitches when recalling the bass booming and the strobe lights flashing, but you push through it. You remember dancing with a dark-haired guy, then a group of girls who were far too drunk. You took a picture with them for the hell of it - meaning, at that time, you definitely had your phone. You danced with another girl who seemed too shy to get on the dance floor, and, finally, a blonde-haired boy. You remember how fluid his movements were and could’ve easily mistook him for a real dancer. When you talked with him you must have been on your fourth drink already. Trying to relax your headache under the warm water, you think harder. 

Your eyes pop open as you remember handing him your phone to show him a picture. _/He never gave it back./_

But how the hell were you gonna track him down? You wanted to ask Khleo for help so badly but knew she was dealing with her personal matters - plus, you had no idea what her number was. 

_/Number.../_

You hop out the shower and slip on an old tee and jeans. You search through your hamper and find your coffee-scented work pants from the other day. You reach into the pocket to find a little slip of paper with your name written on the front. 

You skim the words until you reach the bottom.

‘Call me if you need anything. 

0XX-XXX-XXXX

Chan :)’

This probably wasn’t what he meant by ‘call me if you need anything,’ but he was your only hope at this point. You grab your things and head toward the main lobby on the bottom floor. You find a connected telephone for residences and dial Chan’s number. After a few rings, he answers.

_“Hello?”_

You panic at the sound of his voice and realize you hadn’t quite thought this through. 

_“Hellooooo?”_

You open your mouth and try to let out a hello in response.

_“....Kira..?”_

_“Uh..haha. Heyyy..”_ You let out an awkward chuckle and cringe.

 _“How did you know it was me?”_ You ask.

_“I don’t get a lot calls from unknown numbers on this phone, so I just guessed really.”_

_/This phone? ...Drug dealer./_

_“Oh cool, so um”_ You struggle to find both the will and the right words to ask him to help you.

Before you say anything, Chan speaks up. _“Hey do you and Khleo wanna meet up right now?”_

Your energy falters and you think of Khleo, missing her. _“Actually Khleo won’t be around for a while.”_

_“Oh my god what happened? Is she okay?”_

Your mouth tugs into a smile hearing his consideration. 

_“She’s okay…”_

_“Well, uh, do still you wanna meet up? I mean, if you want. If you’re okay with that.”_

You smile shyly, unsure of when the last time a guy asked you to hang out was, just the two of you. _“Yeah! Sounds good! I called to talk to you about something actually so we can talk over a meal if you haven’t eaten yet.”_

_“Oh, perfect; I'm so hungry. I actually know a really good chicken place.”_

He gives you the address and a brief description of where it is. You say your goodbyes and hang up. 

— - — - —

When you get to the restaurant, you take a moment before you spot Chan. His pale skin and black clothes almost make him look like a shadow or a vampire. If he hadn’t waved at you, you probably wouldn’t have seen him. After you greet each other, you take in Chan’s appearance - this time more clearly. He had a full set of lips, pierced ears, broad shoulders, and he stood a couple inches taller than you. 

He explains that he already ordered a dish for you guys to split and jumps into conversation effortlessly. 

_“Soo how was my place??_ ” He raises his eyebrows a couple times and you laugh in response.

_Are you kidding??_ You live in the fanciest place in Korea!” 

“Welll, I’ll be honest with you, it’s not just my place, I’m sharing it.” You hear Chan speak English for the first time. 

“Woah! What the fuck!?” 

“Oh wait, NO!! No, not like that, With my friends! That came out wrong didn’t it?” 

“What? No, not the apartment thing! Your accent!”

Chan blinks a couple times and makes an _'Ohhhh'_ expression. 

“Yeahhh, I was raised in Australia. Khleo didn’t mention that?”

The convo segways into Khleo and you explain that she’ll be MIA for the next week or so. 

“We should do something for her.” He suggests.

“Yeah, I was gonna make her a little care package this weekend actually.” 

“Oh my god, you’re a genius! There’s this candy she always craves in the middle of the night, you should add it.”

“Oh, then maybe we could do it today! She’d probably be happy to see that you pitched in!” It wasn’t in your plan to buy Khleo's gifts today, but Chan was just so easy and fun to talk to that you stopped thinking twice. 

“Sounds good to me.” He smiled, and just for a second, your heart hiccuped. 

On queue, the chicken arrives to reassert your focus. Both of you grab a serving. When you take a bite, you’re instantly met with flavors of spice, tang, and even a little bit of sweetness.

“Wow. That’s good.” You comment taking in another piece.

“It's _the best chicken.”_ Chan replies, already reaching for a second serving. _/Damn he eats quick./_

“So is that what you wanted to talk to me about? Khleo and the care package?” He asks curiously. 

Your hand instinctively reaches for your pocket when you think about your phone. “Actually…I was hoping you could help me with one little thing…? Or give advice…?” You scrunch your nose, feeling awkward asking a guy you barely know for help. 

“Oh yeah, sure! Advice is my specialty.” He says proudly. _/...Therapist maybe?/_

“Right so…I lost my phone.” You explain everything to Chan and his eyes flicker when you say blonde-haired boy.

“Like Western blonde guy?”

“No, I’m pretty sure he was Korean. Have any idea?”

Chan thinks about it for a moment, then shakes his head. “Nah I thought maybe a friend of mine but he doesn’t go clubbing.” 

“Ahhh, okay.” You sigh defeated. 

“Buuuut I can help you look for it, if you want. We could check the club to see if anyone turned it in. But only if you want! You don’t have to.” 

Walking through the city by yourself was something you never liked to do - in any country. “Really? That’d be great! I was gonna wait to ask my roommate to go with me but this would make things a lot easier!” Plus, this meant you wouldn’t have to waste time trying to coerce Amelia into joining you. 

You try to finish your meal a little quicker, looking forward to the adventure ahead. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for the kudos :')


	7. Chapter 7

After the two of you finished your food, Chan insistently took the check. You decide that you’ll return the favor if you guys ever go out again. As you walk through Itaewon trying to find which club you went to, Chan sparks up a conversation about the time the both of you met.

“So...do you remember much from that night?”

Your ears go a little pink thinking how wrong that question sounded. It felt like you got drunk and stayed the night with him. “I remember greeting you and serving your drink...then trying to sweep...then I fell asleep across from you.” 

What really stuck out to you was Chan working hard on his laptop, rather than whatever the hell you did in your sleepy stupor. 

Chan turns to you and slows his pace. “Is that all you remember?”

You turn to him and start to panic. _/Uh oh./_ He lets out a big laugh, the same cute laugh you heard at the coffee shop. 

“No way! You know what you did?” He catches his breath and puts a hand on your shoulder so the two of you stood in place. 

“I ordered a matcha tea and you gave me like a milky-latte-cinnamon-thing with a load of whipped cream.” 

“No! Nooo!”

“Yes yes yes!” Chan laughs. “And wait, I’m not done!”

You draw out another painful _‘No’_ and scrunch your face, cringing. 

“When you tried to sweep, you kept sweeping all the dirt to me, and when I asked you to sit down, you put your arm on the table and pushed half of my things off.” Chan kept smiling searching your face for every little reaction. 

“Oh my god please tell me you’re lying.” 

“I’m not, princess.” The last part came out naturally for him and your ears turned red upon hearing it. You shook it off - seeing as your embarrassment from that night at the café was deeper than you expected. 

“And one last thing,” he adds, unexpectedly lowering his voice. You realize his hand was still in place on your shoulder as he faced you. He squeezes you just the tiniest bit, and lowers his head ever so slightly. 

“You kept staring at me, calling me handsome.” 

Your heart dropped and your face turned red. His eyes continued to search your face. His smiling lips simmered into a smirk. “Here?”

 _/Here?/_ Your face got hotter. “W-What?” 

He stood up straight and nodded to the building behind you. “Was it here?”

 _/Fucking hell./_ You turn to look at the familiar structure behind you. 

“Uh y-yeah I think so..” Your heart was still pounding but you tried to carry on as normal. _/Did he intend to make you blush? Or are you imagining things?/_

Your mind created question after question while Chan walked ahead. 

“Coming?” He asked innocently. 

— - — - —

The door to the club was unlocked, but it seemed like there was no one around. 

_“Helloo?”_ Chan called out. You look around and take in how different the club looked when it’s empty. It was like an abandoned basement with a wall of alcohol. Honestly, it gave you the creeps. You let curiosity lead you to a door near the bathrooms while Chan took it upon himself to check the bar for your phone. 

You slowly open the door and find a staircase going below ground. It was pitch black with only the sound of dripping water. The possibilities of what could be down there clouds your mind. 

“Good for ghost hunting!” You jump in surprise as Chan appears behind you and snickers. 

“Dickhead!” you shout exasperated. He laughs a little harder and you shut the mysterious door. 

“Did you find anything?” You ask.

“Nope, nothing here. Looks like you’ll need a new phone.” 

You sigh thinking about all the money you saved up in hopes of getting ahead on your tuition. “Yeah, I guess so. Who knows, maybe I was mistaken and it’s hidden somewhere in my room.” You look up at Chan and take note of the fact you were up against the mystery door. He was just inches away from you. Your mind jumps back to only a few minutes ago when Chan had his hand on your shoulder. He was even closer than before.

_/Handsome./_

Like he read your mind, Chan lowers his voice to a whisper; “Say it.”

He was tempting you, and the pressure of the situation almost made you say it. But in no way would you let yourself be so weak just to fuel a guy’s ego. You regain the confidence you lost on yourself earlier when you blushed. You had to turn the tide. 

“Say what?” You roll your eyes.

“What you told me that night.”

“That night you brought me back to your apartment?” You scoffed. “I won’t be going back there, by the way.”

You push off the door, walking past him. “Unless you gave me a reallyyy good reason to.” 

You look back at Chan, his mouth parted, but smirking. 

“Coming?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mm  
> \+ I went back and edited Chapter 1 & 2 so that it's smoother to read; i didn't realize i had so many mistakes lmao.  
> i just usually write without thinking about publishing it anywhere, it's been something for myself and my imagination lol  
> but yeah i'll be sure to keep going back n editing, and sorry in advance for future mistakes ! 
> 
> kk happy holidays <3 -J


	8. Chapter 8

After visiting the club, the two of you came across a convenience store and bought Khleo some candy, a couple fake roses, and a pack of flavored milk. Chan scribbled over the prices on the receipt and wrote some comforting words for Khleo on the back. You promised him you’d add it to the package and tucked the note and goodies neatly in your bag.

Before you knew it, an hour had passed and the two of you were walking in what you thought was comforting silence, but turned out to be uneasiness on Chan’s side. You watch as he glances over his shoulder, then looks straight down at his steps. His eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought.

“Hey are you okay?” you ask. Chan thinks for a moment and looks around. You start to follow his eyes and begin to worry. “Chan, what’s wrong?” 

He bites his lip anxiously. “Hey if we needed to like, run, would you run?” 

_/Run?/_ Why so sudden? Your anxiety sets in and you look around wondering what the hell you’d need to run from. 

Chan holds your shoulders in place to stop you from turning. “Behind me. By the stand.” 

You cautiously look over at an empty food stand and see a girl with two long braids talking on the phone trying not to look your way. She had a camera hanging loosely around her neck, making her look like an ordinary tourist or photographer.

“That girl? What’s the problem…?” You ask. “She seems pretty harmless Chan.” 

Chan’s expression was serious. “She’s been following me around for months.”

“Like, a stalker?” 

“Is she still on the phone?” 

You check again and nod. 

“That means…” Chan starts to mumble under his breath while you keep your eyes on the girl. You see her focused on something further down the street. There, a group of people with more cameras are looking around, one talking on the phone. You catch the gaze of a camera-guy and panic as he immediately starts to tell the others.

“Chan…?” You say pointing. 

Chan grabs your hand and looks into your eyes. “Kira. Run.” 

Immediately, you pick up your steps and run as fast as you can, Chan’s hand holding on to yours. 

— - — - —

Out of breath, you slow down at the top of a steep hill. Chan pants, looking back at the buildings we could just barely see above. 

“You’re..a..good runner.” He said between breaths.

“Cross country.” You replied calming down. 

“Still..how..” Chan let out a strong exhale and finally caught his breath. “How did you know to make it here?” 

You recall the unintentional zig zags and curves you took to lose the stalker girl and her buddies. “Here? What’s here?” you ask looking around at the deserted area.

Chan pulls out a pair of keys from his pocket and clicks a button. Over your shoulder, you see a black sports car honking in response, sitting parked, almost hidden. You stop to think about how difficult and expensive it is to get American cars, let alone sports cars, in Korea. You also think about the fact Chan owns one of the most expensive apartments in Korea, _and_ you take into account how you just ran away from a group of people with cameras.

“Chan...?”

“Yeah?”

“Who the hell are you?”


	9. Chapter 9

“Chan...?”

“Yeah?”

“Who the hell are you?”

Chan scratches the back of his neck, then takes off his cap to fiddle with his hair. You watch him as he tries to think up an answer. He keeps opening his mouth as if to say something, but second-guesses himself and closes it. You look at him expectantly. 

“Do you think...maybe I could tell you another time?” He asks honestly. 

You furrow your eyebrows at his response. Before, Chan dodged questions and answered vaguely, but now, he’s making it apparent that he doesn’t really want to tell you. _/Why the big secret?/_ It irks you quite a bit but you accept his wishes. “Yeah, I guess.” 

“Well...do you need a ride?” He asks, hopeful. You had to visit the café to inform your boss of the phone situation and considering that it would take at least half the time by car versus bus, you give in. He opens the door for you.

You ask him questions about the car just to get your mind off of his mystery life and learn that it’s a Corvette C8, a 2020 release. Honestly, you didn’t care too much for cars, but this one was pretty hot. It had a glossy black exterior with a thin red line along the doors; the interior matched with black leather and red lining. Simply put, it was nice. You really wanted to give it some appreciation but your mind keeps reverting back to whoever the hell Chan was. You tried making yourself believe you weren’t bothered, but it was working out poorly. He knew where you worked, you told him what school you go to, and he knew one of your closest friends, Khleo. What the hell do you know about _him?_

You started to get frustrated with yourself as well as Chan, and it seemed he noticed your change in energy. 

“You okay..?” He queried. 

“Fine.” you say sturdily. _/He couldn’t tell you one thing? Not even a hint about himself? Is his family wealthy? Does he think you would take advantage of that?/_

“Kira”

“I’m just confused about why you won’t tell me anything.” You were feeling a little heated. Chan looks at you, expecting you to continue. “And not just me, Khleo too. She had no idea you lived at the world tower and yet she talked about you so kindly, like she really knew you. Do you act this way around everyone?” 

Chan inhales a breath and leans his head on two of his fingers. He kept one hand on the wheel, eyes on the road. He seemed tired all of the sudden. “Kira, if I don’t want to tell you, then I don’t want to tell you. It’s not the right time.” he chided. _/Not the right time?/_ It felt like an easy answer to give instead of a real reason. Not only that, it almost seemed like he was scolding you. You squint your eyes for a moment out of frustration. This time, it was your turn to inhale a breath and sigh. You assumed the rest of the short drive would remain silent, until Chan says, “Is that a problem?” in a heavy tone.

You raise your eyebrows at his audacity. He got sensitive pretty quickly. “Huh?” you say in disbelief. _/Obviously it’s a bit of a problem. It’s unfair./_

“Is, that, a problem?” He sternly reaffirms his question. 

Chan makes a sharp turn and pulls up to the café. His eyes were hard to read. You were puzzled by this side of him. Only moments ago he was flirty and kind, but now, after a simple question, he seemed irritated. You just wanted to know who he was, _anything_ about who he was. 

“Pfft, yeah, okay bye.” You dismiss him. Before it got worse, you opened the door to exit the car. You weren’t gonna take disrespect of any kind, and the conversation sounded like it was gonna take that sort of turn. His attitude made the day turn sour and you regret ever leaving home. 

You shut the door. 

Not looking back, you walk into the café.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> added some tags 👁


	10. Chapter 10

Over the counter, your boss rushes to make drinks. You check the clock and realize it’s already 5, a busy time. When she notices you, she shouts your name among other things.  
“ _Kira! You late bastard! I should fire you right now_!”  
The customers glance your way. _“Welcome to Kim’s café, enjoy your drink!”_ You mumble as you walk past.  
 _“H-hi Boss…”_  
 _“Late!”_ You look down in shame as your sixty-something year old boss curses at you. It’s safe to assume that she sent you a message asking to come in.  
“Get drinks ready!” She shouts in broken English. You take on your position behind the counter, continuing what she started.

— - — - —

“You are tired?” Mrs. Kim asks.  
It was 8 PM and you were exhausted from your hangover this morning, the time with Chan, and now work. _“Yes, long day. I’m sorry for not coming in, I lost my phone.”_  
Mrs. Kim nods. _“Have you met a man?”_ Her comment startles you. _“I can tell. You were not happy walking in. I have never seen you come to work with a cloudy mind.”_ She adds.  
You were a little surprised that she took note of that. You knew Mrs. Kim probably had a good heart and interesting life, but she’s always acted the role of a strict boss. You weren’t really sure how to respond. _“Sorry Mrs. Kim! It won’t happen again.”_  
 _“No no, it’s life. But, men are no good. You should not look so sad because of a boy. Boys are no good for young girls like you.”_  
You nod, a little speechless. For a second, she felt like a relative. It was something your own grandma would have told you.  
 _“Don’t forget to lock up. And check the schedule since you don’t have a phone.”_  
After her small strides reach the door, she leaves.

— - — - —

Upon closing time, you write down your schedule for the next week. Before setting the alarm, you make sure no one else was at the café. You thought for a moment, maybe Chan would come, but midnight came and passed. You lock up, and decide to make a quick stop at the convenience store for a ramen restock.

When you got there, there were two guys looking into the store giggling to themselves. You mind your business and walk in. The cashier was pretty much half asleep, and there was only one other person in there, shifting his feet nervously. You walk to the ramen isle and grab 3 bowls. For your own safety, you keep an eye on the awkward guy and notice him slowly place a candy bar in his jacket. He was clearly terrified of his own actions.  
You laugh to yourself and walk up to him. _“Do you want me to pay for that for you?”_  
The guy panicked which made you laugh again. You figured he was put up to this by his two goofy friends outside.  
 _“No, no! I’ll put it back!”_  
 _“It’s okay! It’s okay!”_ you smile and nod to the boys cracking up outside the window. _“Did they put you up to this?”_ His eyes dart between you and the guys outside.  
 _“Yeah, I lost a dare.”_ he said shamefully.  
You give another reassuring smile, _“Do you want some help?”_ The guy looks at you like some kind of godsend. You look over at the cashier, his eyes closed, then over at the entrance where the sensors are. You take another look over your shoulder, seeing a hallway where the bathrooms and emergency exit hid. You put the ramen down and decide on your plan. _“What’s your name?”_ you ask.  
 _“Changbin.”_  
 _“Well Changbin, I don’t promote stealing, I just think it’d be pretty funny to surprise those guys outside.”_  
Changbin lets out a quiet laugh and nods.  
 _“Alright, all you need to do is leave through that emergency exit back there, then let me do the rest, okay?”_  
You see a look of panic in Changbin’s eyes, so you reassure him it’ll be okay. He heads over to the back as quiet and slowly as possible. It was so unnecessary, the way he crept. You laugh to yourself again, wondering if he was being serious or not. Outside, you see that one of the boys had blonde highlights, while the other had all black hair. The blonde one was shaking the shoulder of the other, both peering in, clearly wondering what Changbin was up to. Speaking of, he finally makes it to the exit so you quickly rush over.  
 _“Ready?”_  
Changbin nods eagerly and you give him a little push as he runs out the door. Immediately, a beep goes off and the cashier perks up to look at you.  
 _“Hey! Ya! What are you doing?”_  
In a poor Korean accent you respond, “Oh! Oh _sorries! sorry!_ I thought it was _bathroom! bathroom!”_  
“Not bathroom!” he shouts and presses a couple buttons on the screen to stop the beeping.  
“Bathroom is there!” he points. You look to see the women’s sign. Making awkward bows you walk in.  
You wash your hands and play with the air dryer just to buy time, then make your way out. Quickly, you pay for your ramen and walk outside. A little further down the street you see the two guys bickering with each other while Changbin stands proudly showing off the candy bar. He catches sight of you and beckons you over.  
 _“My apprentice!”_ He shouts. You roll your eyes and chuckle at the guy’s newfound ego.  
The two other guys look at you, clearly shocked at the scenario. _“Miss, with all due respect, are you crazy?”_ The blonde-highlight boy cried.  
 _/Blonde must be the trend huh?/_ You laugh and introduce yourself as Kira. You learn that the boy with blonde highlights, Han, was born the same year as you, and both of your birthdays were coming up. The other boy, Jeongin, was born a year before the two of you. And, to your surprise, Changbin was the oldest, a year older than you.  
They invite you for a meal but you kindly turn them down, feeling your drowsiness creep up on you.  
You tell the guys you lost your phone, but exchange contact info anyway.  
After that, you say your goodbyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im ot8 but 3racha are my ULTS ! anyway two bigger chapters tmrw 4 christmas hehe


	11. Chapter 11

Dramas, junk food, and sending Khleo’s care package. That _was_ your plan for today.

At 8 in the morning, you woke up to your roommate’s unnecessarily loud alarm. When you opened your eyes you saw her standing over you.

“I need a favor.” She said.

“No.” 

“I’ll give you thirty thousand won.”

You sat up. _/That’s desperate./_ “What is it?” 

“My friend bailed and I don’t really know anyone else but you-“

“Same.”

“Ugh yeah, and I hate that I’m doing this but I have an extra ticket to a fansign. All you have to do is come with me.” 

“Why don’t you just sell it on Twitter or something.” 

“Because most of my moots aren’t in Korea and the others are still strangers to me! And the thought of going to an event in a foreign country with people who speak a different language kind of makes me nervous okay?”

You thought back to your first few terrifying days in Korea and related heavily to what she said. It was rough for you last semester. You had an alright grasp on Korean, but putting it to use in the country of origin felt like hell to your nerves.

“How long is it gonna be?”

“At most, like, a little over two hours.” 

“TWO HOURS?”

“NOT IF WE LEAVE NOW! PLEASE?”

You sigh. “Forty thousand won.”

“Thirty Three.”

“Thirty Five.”

“Done.”

Now, you were standing inside of a venue packed with countless girls. You take a seat next to Amelia in the fifth row from the front. There was a long table waiting for the special guests to arrive; 8 seats empty.

“You know, you still haven’t apologized for how crazy you acted yesterday morning.” You recall the way she shouted at you when you were hungover. You were gonna bring it up on the bus, but it was a silent ride thanks to Amelia keeping her earphones in. 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry.” She rolls her eyes. _/This trip is worth more than the thirty-five thousand won./_

“I thought you met an idol at the club, but I think I was just drunk.” You give a side eye look to her.

“Shut up! I’ve just been looking forward to this.” 

“Amelia, we could be friends if you were nicer to me.”

Amelia sighs. “I’m not good at making friends. Besides you don’t even listen to Kpop like why are you even in Korea.” 

You shake your head. “Do I need to be a huge Kpop fan to be in Korea?”

“Uh yeah kinda!”

“You are actually a Koreaboo aren’t you.”

Amelia looks pissed and hits you on the shoulder. _/She’s a lost cause./_ “Right well, go on and inform me on the group I’m seeing.” 

Her expression immediately changes back into an excited fangirl, her speech increasing to a million miles per second. “Oh my god okay, so Stray Kids right, there’s the leader Bangchan he’s the oldest and pretty cute and has these lives that are so wholesome he has black hair right now and he’s mostly on vocals but he produces EVERYTHING! And then there’s the second oldest Lee Know who is just, immaculate, he dances so well and he has three cats, his hair is like ginger-orange right now,” Amelia catches her breath and you tell her to slow down.

She continues anyway. “And then next we have Changbin he has like dark blueish hair right now-“ 

“What?”

“It kind of looks teal in some pictures to be honest,”

“Wait who?”

“Changbin! God keep up!”

Amelia keeps going while you think back to the night before when you helped a Changbin steal a candy bar. You shake it off. _/Don’t be ridiculous./_

“And then there’s Hyunjin, oh my godddd oh my god. He’s my bias and my ult and just oh my god. His hair?? His hairrrr!” She cried out. “He’s got great rap skills and he’s a great dancer his hair is like a blonde mullet right now and he went viral the other day, and honestly? Deserve. Anyway, next is Han Jisung and he’s probably the funniest member in my opinion-“

“What?

“Yeah this one time he went on live as a HORSE. I can’t even begin to explain it,”

“Wait who? 

“Han! Han! Han! Are you deaf?”

It was too much of a coincidence. _/There’s no way. Did they give me fake names?/_ “What color is his hair right now?” 

“It’s like black but there’s blonde highlights it suits him so well.”

 _/No fucking way./_ You hear girls squealing and look up at the stage.

Jeongin was the first to walk out, then two other guys, then Han, then an oddly familiar blonde-haired boy, Changbin, another boy, and then-

“Step Out! _Hello, we’re Stray Kids!”_

Time stopped.

_/Chan?/_

  
  


Your heart was beating out of your chest. It was all too much. Is that why he wouldn’t tell you? Your breathing sped up, and before you knew it you were having an anxiety attack. Amelia takes a pause from her squealing and looks at you, concerned. 

“Kira? Kira?” She waves down security and attention is drawn to you - making your anxiety a hundred times worse. You were blocked from Stray Kids’ view since the crowd was standing, but they caught sight of you as security pulled your arm up. Dizziness hits. You catch a glimpse of Chan’s mortified face before you fall to the ground and black out. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry christmas // happy holidays // happy friday ;)

_“What the hell are you doing hovering over her, you’re gonna scare her.”_

_“No, when she wakes up she’ll recognize her prince.”_

_“Changbinnie hyung you’re confusing prince with peasant.”_

_“What do you mean ‘recognize’? She doesn’t even know you.”_

_“Chan, she came to a fansign.”_

_“She won’t know me from the fansign, she’ll know me because we met.”_

_“Changbin hyung you can't be the first thing she sees, she’ll think she died and made it to hell.”_

_“You met? What?”_

_“Oh! Give her a candy bar!”_

_“Jeongin, why a candy bar? She shouldn’t have sugar after fainting.”_

_“Because it’s what Changbin hyung had when we all met!”_

_“What? You met her too?? We???”_

_“Ah, the forbidden candy.”_

_“Hey hey hey, out of the three of us she’ll remember me. We’re the same age and I’m good looking.”_

_“Hello?? What?? Are you guys saying you know her?”_

_“Sort of.”_

_“Yeah!”_

_“We’re soulmates.”_

_“What??”_

You slowly lift open your eyelids, blinking away blurriness. From what you heard, it seems you fainted at the fansign. You felt around, recognizing that you were lying on a sofa. You focus on the eight men standing a few feet from you. 

_“Jealous Channie hyung?”_

_“You’d like her.”_

_“Is there anyone else who knows her??”_

_“Hm. I think I might.”_

You look at the blonde-haired boy as he spoke, his eyes locking with yours. Finally, you recognize him.

“YOU!” you shout.

 _“HIM??”_ the boys exclaim in unison.

_“Did you get the hair colors confused? I have some black in mine.”_

_“N-no it was me! Remember? Candy?”_

Chan stares, absolutely dumbfounded. A white-haired boy latches onto his arm.

 _“Do you remember me?”_ you ask the blonde boy. 

_“Yes. It’s good to see you sober.”_

_“SOBER??”_

_“What did he do to you!?”_

_“Hyunjinnie hyung..?”_

You were still a little dazed but you sat up. 

“Careful.” Chan says instinctively. He looked a bit out of place and awkward. You two left on bad terms anyway. 

The blonde-haired boy approaches you. _“I didn’t get to introduce myself that night.”_ he says dramatically.

 _“This isn’t real.”_ Han comments, like it’s the best thing he ever heard. 

_“Wow.”_ A boy with rosy pink hair spoke up. He stood in the back, quiet for most of the time.

 _“Did you two have sex?”_ A guy with orange-ish hair, and apparently no filter, asks.

Han quickly covered Jeongin’s ears. _“Hyung, you’re ruining the innocent.”_

 _“What? No, oh my god.”_ You say, your ears turning pink. 

You look back at the blonde boy, _“Do you have my phone?”_

_“Yes, but it’s back at my place.”_

The room filled with “ _AHHHH”’s and “EWWW”’s_

The blonde boy laughed straight after, relaxing his demeanor. _“I’m Hyunjin.”_ He says holding out his hand. You do a quick bow and shake his hand. He looks at the others, expecting an introduction.

_“Changbin. Hello again..”_

_“Jeongin, hellooo!”_

_“Han, we met.”_ He smiles.

 _“Seungmin, nice to meet you.”_ He waves.

_“I’m Lee Know.”_

_“Felix, nice to meet you.”_

Chan blinks, his eyes trying to read you. “ _Bangchan.”_ He nods. You stare at him, half expecting him to say he knew you already. 

_“I’m Kira. Nice to meet you all.”_

— - — - —

You learn that you fainted just over two hours ago and security brought you to a waiting room in the back. Apparently Amelia had checked you and said you’d be okay to rest here instead of a hospital. You also learn that Amelia is working on a degree in medicine, which is why they took her word for it. The boys took turns explaining the situation to you, but Chan stayed quiet. You look at him and tune everything else out. He didn’t want to tell you what he did for a living. What his life was like and who exactly his friends were, were details he intentionally left out when the two of you talked. _/So this is why?/_

You wonder why it was such a big secret, why Chan got a little defensive about it in the car. _/_ ** _“_** _Kira, if I don’t want to tell you, then I don’t want to tell you. It’s not the right time.”/_

 _“Why are you guys staring at each other, it's creeping me out.”_ Lee Know says.

You look around at the boys glancing between you and Chan. _"_ _I know him too, do you think I can talk to him alone?”_ You ask, pointing out Chan.

The boys exchange suspecting looks but agree. One by one, they head out. Your eyes settle back on Chan. He looked around awkwardly and pulled over a chair. You wanted him to say something first; to say sorry for how aggressive he acted. You would let it all go if he just apologized. But, you knew that sort of thing goes both ways. Maybe you were too quick to leave, maybe you shouldn’t have been so bothered by his secrecy. Maybe, from his perspective, you were the one who was out of line. “I’m sorry.” 

Chan tilts his head in response. “Sorry?”

“I’m sorry for trying to pry. I should’ve waited for you to tell me when you were more comfortable. And now, I show up here, like this. It feels like I stepped in on something I wasn’t supposed to see yet.” You admit. 

Chan processes this, then exhales a chuckle. “I didn’t expect you to say sorry, but somehow it’s a little relieving.” You can see his awkwardness dissipate. “Before I say anything else...are you okay?” He asks.

“Yeah.” You bite your lip, a little embarrassed. “When I have really bad anxiety something like this could happen. It’s happened like twice before unfortunately.” 

“Oh okay…” Chan scratches the back of his head and ruffles his hair. “Really Kira, _I’m_ sorry...for not telling you. Or Khleo. It’s unfair that you guys shared everything with me and I kept everything to myself. And I acted really poorly in the car too…” you soften at the way he says ‘poorly,’ his accent strong. “I just get protective when it comes to my career and my members. Can we just forget it all? Let’s start fresh.”

“Okay,” you agree. “I’m Kira.” 

He chuckles again. “I’m Bangchan, but you can call me Chan.” 

You let out a laugh. “I think this is our third time doing this, I can’t take it seriously.” 

_“Hey! What’s going on in there!”_ Changbin shouts.

 _“Blink twice if you need help.”_ Han says. 

_“Can we come in now!”_ You recognize it as Felix’s voice.

You gesture an okay to Chan and he walks over to open the door.

 _“Kira! I missed you!”_ Changbin cries.

 _“Hyung you’re embarrassing yourself.”_ Hyunjin says.

You were grateful that you could recognize everyone thanks to the color of their hair, and you caught on to the dynamic pretty quick.

“What’d you two talk about?” You perk up at Felix’s English, also an Australian accent.

“Nothinggg!” Chan teases. 

“Are you Australian Felix?” you ask.

“Woah! American!” He replies, his eyes lighting up. The other boys are intrigued as well. 

“Yes, I’m from California.”

“Oh! LA?..LA _ribs_..” Han chimes in.

“LA Lee Know” Changbin responds quietly. You hear a knock on the door and Seungmin answers, talking to a staff member. He nods and turns around, “ _Kira, it was really nice meeting you but our manager says we have to go.”_

The boys echo “No”s & “Aw”s and look a little disappointed.

 _“Sorry we couldn’t stay longer.”_ Jeongin says frowning _._

 _“We should meet again.”_ Lee Know says. 

There’s a hum of agreement. _“We will.”_ Chan said sincerely. His eyes were glued on you, but unlike before, it was a sort of relaxed or adoring look.

 _“Yeah, I’ve got some of you guys on KakaoTalk, maybe we can start a groupchat to make plans; once Hyunjin gives back my phone, of course”_ You weren’t sure whether they were just being polite, saying to meet again but not actually going through with it - or if they were genuinely interested in hanging out with you. Either way, you weren’t about to let such a fun and handsome group of guys go that easy.

To your surprise, there’s a nod of agreement. “I’ll make it right now!” Felix says cheerfully. 

_“We’ll get your phone back and teach him a lesson.”_ Lee Know says with an evil smile. 

You say your goodbyes and watch as they leave. You sat alone on the sofa and thought for a moment.. _/...Where’s Amelia?/_

You groan, imagining how much she’s gonna hate you for being able to meet Stray Kids in a private setting. 

For once, you were actually grateful you didn’t have your phone.


	13. Chapter 13

You make your way out of the venue and cover your eyes from the sun. It must be around noon. The wind hits you just right and you smile. _/What a beautiful day./_

  
  


“KIRA! KIRA! I FUCKING HATE YOU KIRA!” 

_/Seems about right./_

“Hello Amelia.” 

“You have to tell me everything.” _/No, I don’t./_ “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting out here?” _/That’s on you./_ “Like an hour Kira! An _hour*_!” 

You sip the water bottle staff handed you earlier. “Not my problem.” you shrug.

You make your way to the bus stop and Amelia follows, running her mouth.

“Kira, please, you know I love them! Tell me what happened please! If you don’t tell me that means you hate me.”

“God you’re so immature. How old are you again?” 

“Old enough!” 

You look at the green mountains surrounding Seoul. _/It’s still a beautiful day./_ “Amelia. Are you really in Korea for Kpop idols?” you ask genuinely.

She looks at you confused. “Yeah? I mean...My parents wanted me to go somewhere so yeah obviously I chose here so I can go to more concerts and fansigns. What about it? Did you talk about me?? Did you tell them that?” 

She was so frantic you started to worry. “No. I didn’t bring you up, sorry.” 

She frowns. 

“Hey. I’ll tell you what happened if you take a trip with me _without*_ being a bitch.” 

“BITCH?”

You raise your eyebrows seeing as she tests your patience. 

Amelia sighs. “Fine.”

— - — - —

You keep the bus ride silent. You were in a good mood from this morning, yet a little sad. It flurries into a sort of sentimental vibe. Either Amelia senses this or she just decides to go silent because of her agreement to be nice. She has one earphone in and complies when you lead her to a shuttle at Namsan. The road is steep and little by little you see over trees and buildings. Getting off the shuttle, there’s a bit of a walk to get to the deck of Namsan Tower.

“Stray Kids,” you start, her attention in tune, “they said you’re pursuing a medical degree?” 

“Oh yeah yeah! Wow they must think I’m super smart.”

“Well, aren’t you? I mean if you’re going for that…”

“It’s not too hard, I just suck at turning in work because it’s boring.”

“Boring? Isn’t it what you want to do?” 

“Yeah my parents said it’d be good for me and they know a lot of doctors too so it’d be super easy for me to get into the field.”

You think about it for a moment. _/No wonder she has money for concerts and fansigns on top of studying abroad finances - her parents must be crazy rich surgeons./_ “It’s easy and stable, a noble job.” you agree. “But, what are you passionate about?”

The two of you make it to the deck of N Seoul Tower and head toward the octagonal pavilion. There were a few handfuls of tourists, allowing yourself and Amelia to blend in for once. She hasn't answered your question - probably because she had a smart response to it.

“For me, I’m still figuring it out.” You say honestly. It was part of the reason why you wanted to study abroad. You wanted to mature and figure yourself out, what you wanted, as soon as possible. 

“You don’t know what you’re doing?”

“Not a clue.”

“What are you even studying then?”

“The general stuff.” 

Amelia frowns. “Aren’t you scared? Why go through the trouble of college?”

“I’ve just been doing all the things that are ‘good for me.’ I got good grades, got into a good University...I’m only studying abroad because guidance counselors and professors said it’d be good for me. It’s like everyone has been pushing me to do what’s ‘good’ but I still haven’t progressed as a person.” You explain.

“As a person…” Amelia echoes. 

“Yeah. But to answer your question, I’m not scared. This is just a part of the process.”

“It seems like a waste of time.” She sighs. 

“It seems like a waste of time doing only what others say is good for you. I made the mistake of doing that, but now I’m doing this for me.” Looking at Amelia, you ask honestly, “Who are you doing this for?”

You gesture to the view of Seoul below you. “All of this.”

Amelia’s eyes search the trees and the buildings. She bites her lip.

“It can’t just be Kpop, you know? I mean, this country did not live thousands of years for it to be reduced to a genre of music.” You exhale a laugh. “There’s a rich history and a rich culture. Right now, there’s over ten million people standing below us. Some are broke, some are rich, some are happy, sad, ambitious, driven. And some are lost.” She turns around and looks through the crowds.

“You just...gotta wonder..What are you here for?”

Her eyebrows lower, a clear look of confusion and fear on her face. “It’s not like I never thought about it...but,” She sighs. “I don’t know.”

You watch as a couple strolls past, holding hands. A mother and a little girl skip together. There’s a few people who are alone, just looking at the view.

You put your arm over her shoulder and chuckle. “That makes two of us!” You smile. “Ice Cream?”

-

You work on finishing up your matcha cone and Amelia finishes up her chocolate. At first she was lost in thought, but the sweets got her back into her normal mood. “You know, Stray Kids have been here.” She giggles. 

You smile, thinking of Chan and the group of hooligans. “Oh yeah?” 

“Yep! They did the little love locks. It was so cute!!” 

“Hmm..Let’s do one too.” You swallow what’s left of your cone and head to the store to buy some locks. On the deck, you shake your head as Amelia searches through the thousands of locks to try to find Stray Kids’. After about ten more minutes she comes back defeated. “I can’t find them!” 

“Well there’s probably been about another thousand people who have been here since they came.” 

She sighs. You look up and see heavy clouds forming, blocking the sun. “Let’s write ours out before it starts to rain.”

“What are we gonna write?” 

The two of you share a look. You hold out your hand to trade locks. Amelia hands you her pink lock, while you hand her your black one.

‘Please let us find ourselves with the time we have left in Seoul. _Stay healthy_ Amelia. -Kira’

Amelia hands back yours.

‘From this year on, let us learn who we are and what we want. Thanks, Kira. -Amelia.’

You sign and date your own locks then find a place to attach them.

“Thank you...” she mutters.

“Mhm.”

— - — - —

You get off the bus and head toward the dorms. Outside the building, there’s a handful of girls standing around on their phones - one you recognize. She had a camera slung around her neck. You put your arm in front of Amelia. “Wait.”

She looks at you, then at the girls who have yet to notice your presence. 

“Who are those people?” you ask.

Amelia looks over at the girls mindlessly. “I don’t kn---- _Oh.”_ She blinks a few times.

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” she grumbles.

“Oh ???” 

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooo.” she groans even more. “I uhhh I ummmmmm”

“Amelia.”

“Yeah that- it might not be- well- cos earlier see-”

“Amelia!” 

“I tweeted earlier, when I was mad at you, that you were gonna meet the boys because you fainted. And, that may have attracted some attention. And, looking from here...that kinda looks like one of the girls who kept asking me questions about you. The one with the camera.”

“What the hell! How did they find us!?” 

Amelia thinks for a second. “I guess..I mentioned...like a month ago...on my curious cat that I was gonna stay in these dorms...so maybe....”

“Amelia..” You say in disbelief. 

“I’ll delete the tweets right now! I didn’t think this would happen!”

“We gotta find another way in.” You grab Amelia’s arm and walk through a tight alley.

“Kira…”

“There’s gotta be an entrance back here.” You walk further and stop when you hear a male’s voice around a corner. Of course, there’d be some creep hanging around in an alley. You fix your posture into a defensive position, ready to tackle somebody. 

“Kira...” Amelia repeats nervously.

You inch closer. _/Wait a minute./_ You drop your fearful expression and roll your eyes, taking the last few steps between you and the voice.

“Hey Ch-”

Chan jumps at the sound of your voice and drops his phone on the cement. “For fuck’s sake Kira!”

You smile, happy to see him. “What are you doing here?”

“I-I thought,” Chan looks over at Amelia. She stood frozen, eyes growing wider when Chan makes eye contact. 

“Oh hi.” He says.

Amelia drops to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just got 200 hits as of posting this holy shit sjskjdhkf  
> anyway thank u for those keeping up, giving kudos, and opening the story in the first place ahhhhh <3


	14. Chapter 14

“Amelia? Amelia??” you shake Amelia’s shoulder as she lies knocked out cold on the cement of an alley.

“This is not a good look. Literally, the second time today.” Chan says. “We better take her in.”

Great. Now you had to sneak through the back door _and_ carry a body in. “Shit, okay I’ll get her legs.” You hold tightly onto her after punching in the building code at the back door.

Chan folds his arms to get a grip and starts walking through. 

“Where the hell are we gonna go!” You whisper.

“Fuck I don’t know! This is your building!” He whispers back.

You round the corner and see the entrance to the main study room. “This way!” You whisper, quickly maneuvering Amelia’s legs to around the corner. You peek into the room and see one guy blowing off steam from his ramen. He looks at you.

_“Kira?”_

_/God damn it./_ _“Ohh haha heyyy Inniee!”_ Amelia’s body was just out of sight from the window’s view. 

“Innie?” Chan leans forward.

 _“What are you doing?”_ In looks over to see Chan’s head peeking out. _“No way! Is-Is that-”_

“Dammit Chan! Does everyone know you!?” 

Chan shrugs.

“Fuck it.” While Lee In stares at Chan like he’s some otherworldly creature, you drag in Amelia and set her on the table besides Lee In.

 _“What? What the hell is going on?? My insomnia is getting to me.”_ Lee In says, mostly to himself. 

You make sure to shut the door, then start filling a cup with cold water. 

“Hi!” Chan just smiles at Lee In, as if he didn’t just bring in what looked to be a lifeless body. Lee In shakes his head, probably deeming Chan as a spirit. He peers over at the body. “A-Amelia…?” He gives her a soft poke on the cheek. _“Kira you complained about your roommate but I never thought you’d take it this far!”_ He cries out.

 _“Innie please, she just fainted.”_ You pour the cold water over Amelia’s head. To your surprise, she comes back to life. 

Chan claps, “Yay! Welcome back!” 

_“I’m sorry, is he real?”_ Lee In asks.

You pinch Chan’s arm. “OW!”

“Yes he’s real.”

“Rude!” Chan pouts.

“I’ll kiss it for you” Innie blurts.

Amelia shoots up. “NO! I WILL!”

“Please! Chill!” You try.

“SHUT UP!” Innie and Amelia shout.

“Alright now fellas.” Chan says raising his palms.

You sigh. “Amelia, Chan. Chan, Amelia.” Amelia bows on her knees, still on top of the table. “I love you so much.”

“Aww noo, I love you.” He says cheerfully.

Amelia looks about ready to pass out for a second time so you hand her what’s left of the water. “Calm, calm.” You turn to Lee In. “Lee In, Chan. Chan, Lee In.” They do a quick bow and shake hands.

“He/They please!” Lee In says coyly. _“Korean is easier for me too!”_

 _“No problem!”_ Chan smiles. _“So...both of you recognize me?”_ He says shyly. 

_“YES!_ I watched the reality show and The 9th, all seasons, and I love all of your music and lives and oh my god 3racha!" Amelia gushes. "And the fansign was perfect!"

 _“I know your music and seen quite a few of your performances.”_ Innie says cooly. Hearing this, you kind of start to panic. _/What the hell does his music sound like...Is Amelia talking about the sauce?/_

 _“How about you?”_ Chan asks, looking at you.

“Uhh…I-I don’t know…” Your voice trails off. 

Amelia and Lee In give you death stares.

“I mean I’ve probably definitely heard something before!” You say nervously.

 _“No taste.”_ Amelia shakes her head. 

_“We’ll educate her.”_ Lee In reassures. 

“ _Lee In what the hell are you doing here anyway?_ _You don’t even live here.”_ You ask.

_“Well, if somebody had picked up their phone I wouldn’t be showing up at their dormsss!”_

_“How the fuck did you get in?”_

Lee In reaches in his pocket then waves around a card. _“Keycard, duh!”_

 _“I could use one of those.”_ Chan says. You look at the both of them, bewildered. They go on about how to get a dorm keycard. You glance over at Amelia who seems to be in her own world staring at Chan. The thought of the girls standing outside resurfaces and your hands start to sweat. You quietly walk out of the room and peek through the lobby. About six girls were standing around looking bored or on their phones. _/How long will they be here.../_

“I think that’s my fault.” Chan says behind you. 

“Did you follow me out here?”

“Maybe.”

“Don’t ditch your fans!” 

“Amelia started to drool.”

You cringe and swallow your words. “Nevermind then.”

“Sorry about them.” Chan says nodding to the girls outside.

“Oh. Did they follow you here?” 

“They were already here. But someone must have tipped them off somehow.” he said sadly.

“Uh actually, I think it was Amelia. She tweeted about me meeting you all and I guess they stalked her account and found our dorms.”

“God I’m sorry.” He says defeated. 

“Sorry? Why? Amelia tweeted without thinking, you don’t have to apologize!”

“Yeah but, they do whatever they can to learn about or find me and my _brothers_. It’s still our fault, so I’m sorry.” He looks down at his shoes. He was being so sincere that your heart stung a little just seeing him this way.

“I don’t blame you Chan. They’re the ones who need to apologize to me and to you.” Chan looks back at you. “You can’t blame yourself for things that are out of your control.” 

His expression lightened but you couldn’t shake the thought of him blaming himself over things like this. “Thanks Kira.”

 _/Fuck it./_ You went in for a hug. He returned the squeeze which made the hug even more comfortable. For a moment, you catch his scent. It was sort of sweet. _/Kinda like...chocolate chip cookies.../_

“Thank you,” he said, pulling apart. “hugs make things all the better.” 

You smile at each other. For a second, you feel a little butterfly in your stomach. 

“Can I have a hug too…?” Amelia says from behind. 

“Of course!” Chan leans in for a hug and Amelia’s face turns bright red. At the same time, Lee In walks out of the study room holding his ramen.

 _"Again, why are you here Lee In-and where did you get the ramen from? It’s a study room?!”_ You ask.

_“I have a day off so obviously we have to hang out. And don’t question my ramen. I’m hungry.”_

_“What about you Chan? Do you know someone who lives here?”_ Amelia asks. 

_“Oh, I uh…”_ He scratches the back of his head and ruffles his hair. “ _I wanted to talk to Kira…”_

 _“Kira?”_ Lee In and Amelia say exasperated.

“Me..? What’s up..?” 

Lee In sucks up a mouthful of ramen like popcorn in a theatre. 

“I uh..Oh! Oh! Here, this is from Hyunjin.” Chan searches his pockets and pulls out your phone. You feel a wave of relief, even though it’s dead.

“HYUNJIN????” Amelia cries. “Tell him I love him please Chan!”

“O-Oh sure, of course.” Chan says a little overwhelmed at Amelia’s energy.

“Amelia..calm.” you urge her. She holds your hand to ground herself.

 _“Why does Hyunjin have your phone?”_ Innie asks.

“Long story.” 

“I’m curious too, actually.” Chan says.

“He hasn’t told you? What about Changbin and Han and Jeongin?” 

“That’s the thing! No one’s telling me!” Chan exclaims.

You think it over. _/They’re probably not telling him for a reason, right? Hyunjin did leave in a hurry that night./_

“Wellll in that case...I’m no snitch!” 

Chan’s eyes widen. _“What!”_

 _“They can tell you! My lips are sealed.”_ You see Chan’s eyes drop to your lips for a brief moment - you feel another butterfly. Then, Chan’s phone goes off with a song you’ve definitely heard before. He scrambles to find it in one of his pockets.

“IS YOUR RINGTONE TWICE?” Amelia raises her voice in excitement for the millionth time. Like a reflex, Lee In dances, ramen in hand, and sings to the ringtone _._ “Me likey likey likey! Me-“

 _“Hello?”_ Chan answers

"Booo!” In pouts. 

Chan nods and hangs up. _“Alright I’ve gotta get back. It was nice meeting you all,”_

 _“Nice meeting you Chan!”_ Amelia says with the biggest heart eyes. 

_“Nice meeting you king!”_ In says with a slight bow, trying not to spill his soup.

 _“It was nice seeing you again, Kira.”_ He says with a wink. _/A wink???/_ You feel a butterfly for a third time.

 _“Bye Chan.”_ You smile.


	15. Chapter 15

_“So you’re telling me you met Chan three days ago and he shows up at your dorms?”_ In says.

“So you’re telling me you met Chan three days ago and you didn’t tell me?” Amelia adds. Both of them looked a little rejected, but your attention was on the box you were ready to send to Khleo. After Chan left, In and Amelia kept talking over each other with questions they had for you. You let them argue and went to your room to plug in your phone and grab Khleo’s box. Now, you were on your way to the post office with Amelia and In tagging along. _“I haven’t even told Khleo everything. I’ve been a mess without her.”_ You sigh. It was true. You went clubbing on a weekday with Amelia of all people - who was, at the time, solely a bitch. You weren’t gonna lie to yourself, even though a lot has happened, you felt lonelier than ever. “Besides _,_ if I had told you Amelia, you would’ve tweeted it and we’d probably have mobs outside.”

Amelia frowned. 

_“Now give me a sec to send this, you guys can wait out here.”_ You go in and talk to the clerk to get overnight shipping. When it’s all figured out, you make sure everything is set in place for the box to arrive safely at Khleo’s place. You sent Chan’s note and candy, along with the fake flowers, a box of chocolates, water, her favorite candle, and a letter of your own. It wasn’t much, but it’ll let her know you’re thinking of her. When you step out, In and Amelia are going at each other’s throats.

“You were sucking up your ramen so loud _pig!”_

_“At least I don’t drool in front of idols bitch!”_

_“_ Y’all, this is a post office.” 

“Kira he’s being mean!”

“Yeah, and you’ve only been nice to me for like 3 hours.” You reply.

“Ugh!” 

_“Anyway, Kira, let me get this straight. On Wednesday, you met Chan at the cafe near closing, you talk, and then Khleo shows up. The three of you chat, then you say your goodbyes and part your ways.”_

You bite your lip. You weren’t about to let it be known you stayed at Chan’s place. “Mhm.”

“But Kira,” Amelia pauses, blinking to realization. “You didn’t come home that night…” 

Lee In dropped his jaw. “OHH SHITT!! KIRAAAAAA!!!!” 

“KIRA ??????” Amelia started freaking out.

“SHE’S LYINGGGGG! SHE AND CHAN” Lee In started forcing his hands all over his body and made kissy faces. Your face turns red and your breath gets caught in your throat, making you cough. 

“SHE’S EMBARRASSSSEDD!!” In continued. 

Amelia looked absolutely mortified and dropped to her knees. 

“STOP! NO!” You catch your breath. “IN SHUT UP! I-I stayed at Khleo’s!!” you persist. 

“NOT BUYING IT!” In said twirling. 

“I need some fresh air.” Amelia says fanning herself.

“We’re outside.” In rolls his eyes.

“Look I stayed at Khleo’s and when I woke up she was gone to Busan! Stop getting the wrong idea!” _/Oh my god they didn’t have the wrong idea. I mean I stayed at his place...But not like that./_

“Mhmm.” In says.

You lift Amelia up. “Come on, let’s watch a movie or something.” You say, wanting to change the subject. 

— - — - —

That night, the three of you stayed in and watched movies using a projector Amelia bought. It ended up as a sleepover, so you shared your tiny bed with In. For some reason, you dreamt of baking cookies.

The next morning, you woke up on the floor. In was spread out on your bed fast asleep. You get ready for the café and work as usual, coming home at around 4 to study. For a while, you were focused, but your mind starts to drift. A picture of Chan forms in your head. You think about the way he ruffles his hair when he feels a little nervous or shy. You remember his warm hug and his smile. You feel the butterfly again. Shaking your head, you try to snap out of it. You roll off your desk chair onto the floor in defeat. Out of the corner of your eye, a screen lights up. 

“Shit!” You clamber onto your knees and reach for your long lost phone. After plugging it in the night before you completely forgot about it. You unplug it and turn it on to see dozens of notifications.

**_(136 messages)_ **

**_(Jisung and 7 others have added you)_ **

**_(46) messages_ **

**_(13) missed calls_ **

There were notifications from twitter and Instagram too, but nothing important. You start with the missed calls in chronological order. 5 from Mrs. Kim Friday morning, 2 from Chan Friday afternoon, 2 from grandma Friday night, 7 from In yesterday morning, and 1 from Khleo this morning. You text your grandma an apology for missing her call and that you’re doing well and working hard, making sure to set a reminder to call her another time. You dial back Khleo, but she doesn’t answer. You head over to your messages on KKT. 

At the top, you see you’ve been added to a group chat with Stray Kids. _/That must be the 136 messages./_ Below, you see individual chats - from top to bottom are 2 messages from Hyunjin, 3 messages from Han, 2 messages from Changbin, 3 messages from Chan, 9 messages from In, 18 messages from Amelia, and 5 messages from Mrs. Kim. 

You go in order from oldest to most recent. Mrs. Kim was texting you about coming in that Friday night; Amelia sent a mix of angry, concerned, and envious messages about you getting to meet Stray Kids from fainting. In’s messages were an array of ‘pick uppp bitch’ and ‘let’s hang babe 💟’. Chan’s messages were a bit more entertaining. 

**Sunday 1:07 AM**

_ > I’m not obsessed! _

_ > They’re just messing around haha _

_ > I JUST WANNA KNOW _

_/This needs some context./_

You head over to Changbin’s messages.

**Sunday 1:15 AM**

_ > This feels wrong _

_ > Do you think we should tell him? _

You look at Han’s messages hoping for some answers.

**Sunday 1:17 AM**

> _Just go with it_

_ > Hahahahahah _

The last message he sent was a SpongeBob meme.

You were left with even more questions. You check Hyunjin’s messages.

**Sunday 1:20 AM**

> _If you want, you can tell the truth, we’re just having fun! Hope that’s okay~~_

_ > Hahahaha _

You take a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself for the group chat. You quickly scroll through since you didn’t have the energy to go through every little detail. From what you can grasp, Han, Changbin, and Jeongin were talking like you were a long lost friend - which made Chan ask repeatedly, how the hell the four of you met. 

LK sends a voice note explaining to you specifically that, IRL, Chan and the boys started to argue about how they met you. You laugh, hearing their raised voices in the background. He describes his little plan to resolve their dispute: LK has each of the boys come into his room, separately, to tell the story of how they met you and/or how they _suspect_ others have met you. Whether or not they told the truth was up for you to decide. He combines all stories and comes up with a conclusive tale - like a poor game of telephone. After a ten minute gap, LK sends the first summary.

_LK: I’ve gathered all the stories. This is what happened. 1. Chan met Kira first. He became obsessed and is now a stalker._

After that message was sent, it was utter chaos. You scroll through the laughter, the confusion, and the _‘Hyung I never knew you’d go that far’_ comments.

_LK: 2. Kira met Changbin after someone was trying to steal a chocolate bar from him. She came in like a princess in shining armor and beat up the thief. Han and Jeongin watched on the sidelines, cheering her on. Changbin has fallen in love with her._

You let out a laugh and read over replies.

_SM: I can see that._

_FX: Happy for you!_

_CB: FFS_

_LK: Hyunjin and Kira met last. At a club, Hyunjin lured her in with his dance moves and Kira was entranced. He seduced her well enough that Hyunjin took her back to the apartment. She left her phone there._

_BC: …_

_BC: Kira…?_

_HJ: Jeonginnie, Seungmin! Time for bed!_

_HY: There goes the stalker._

_BC: NOT_

_SM: I’m not tired_

_BC: A_

_I.N: hehehehe_

_BC: STALKER!_

You laugh harder and blush a little. _/I mean...maybe if I was a little more drunk that night.../_ It was funny that the story was nearly accurate, and you take all the jokes lightly. You scroll down and see a few more messages scattered throughout the day. It sucks that you missed all the fun, so you make sure to keep notifications on for the chat. You go back to send Chan a DM.

**Sunday 6:15 PM**

>Can’t believe I have a stalker now...

You look at it for a moment, wondering if he’d read it. _/He’s probably busy doing idol things./_ You go to the groupchat.

**Sunday 6:16 PM**

>Hahahaha

_ >Hey guys :) _

_HY: Kiraaa~_

_HY: Everyone is practicing_

_HY: Except for Chan heheheh_

_CB: I can take a break_

_CB: Did you read the messages??_

_CB: Kira, tell me it’s not true_

Just then, you hear a knock. You set your phone aside and wonder if Amelia lost her key. Opening the door, you see a familiar face and offer a smile. “Khleo!” You give her the biggest hug. 

“Nice to see ya Ki.” She replies. Her deep brown braided hair was up in a ponytail.

“How are you?” You ask, allowing her in. 

“I’m doing a lot better. My mom flew in and we said our goodbyes.” She smiles sadly. You jut your lip and give her another hug. 

“Really, I’m doing a lot better now. It’s not like we were super close. I’m strong, you know.”

“Yeah, but if you need any more time, please take it!” You insist. 

She shakes her head and smiles. “No way sis, I think I need to get back to life. I’ll keep the time off work and refocus on myself.” 

Your phone buzzes off the bed and hits the ground.

Khleo looks at your phone as it buzzes across the floor. “Um..?” 

You’re at a loss for words thinking about how you’ll have to explain everything to her. _/Um yeah Khleo, Chan’s some sort of superstar with his eight buddies. They’re called lost puppies or something. I helped one steal from a convenience store and danced with another at a club on a Thursday night!/_

“Hello? Kira?” she tries. 

Then, you hear another knock at the door. 


	16. Chapter 16

Khleo runs to the door before you could answer it. “Who is i-”

“Khleo!” You hear Chan’s voice shout in excitement.

“Chan?”

 _/Chan? That’s...three days in row.../_ “Heyy guysss” you say awkwardly.

“Hi Kiraa!” You peek over Khleo’s shoulder to see a big smile on Chan’s face. You avert your eyes and hide your own smile. You could tell that Khleo felt she was missing something. “Are you guys like…?”

“We’ve hung out a few times.” Chan says innocently. 

“Riiight.” Khleo smirks. You jab your knuckle into her back. “Ow-”

“Come in Chan!” You say cheerfully. 

Chan walks in past the two of you. With his back turned, Khleo raises her hand like she’s about to backhand you. As soon as he faces you guys again, she drops it and smiles. You motion for him to sit on Amelia’s bed. _/She’d be thankful./_

You and Khleo sit across from him on your own bed. “SO! Chan. I haven’t seen you since that night at the cafe.” Khleo speaks up.

You quickly cover your face in embarrassment. Chan just laughs.

“What happened again? Kira was half asleep? Dreaming about some handsome guy?” Khleo was only teasing you, but it was worse than she knew. You think back to last Friday when Chan looked right into your eyes in the middle of Itaewon. 

_/“You kept staring at me, calling me handsome.”/_

Your eyes widen and you jab her from behind again. “Ki-”

“SO! Chan. What are you doing here?” You ask kindly. You could tell that Chan was reading the situation well. He knew you were flustered and was probably thinking of the same instance at Itaewon. He was smiling at you like he knew everything. “Wanted to check on you.” He said.

“Aw how sweet!” Khleo beamed. He drew his attention back to her. “But I’m so glad to see you Khleo. Is everything okay? Are you doing alright?” It was sweet how his demeanor could easily shift, showing that he really cared.

“Yeah, I’ve already talked to my Kira here, I’m good! No worries” She assured. Your phone interrupts the conversation, buzzing centimeter by centimeter on the wooden floor.

“Who the hell is texting you?” Khleo asked.

You give a look to Chan. “Uhh…” 

Khleo reaches for your phone after it makes its way over to Amelia’s nightstand. She catches it while it buzzes and hits her arm on one of Amelia’s notebooks. Two full-page pictures, one of Chan and one of Hyunjin, fall out. 

_/Oh my god./_

“Oh my ba-” She picks up the papers and stares at the one with a familiar black-haired boy. Chan sucks in a breath, grimacing. She looks at Chan. Then at the paper. She looks at you, your lips pressed in terror. 

“Now wait a damn minute.” 

You could tell she had a lot to say. “Okay Khleo, so…”

“So?”

Chan stands up. “I’m sorry for not being more open with you...but um…” He straightens up. “My name is Bangchan. Or Christopher Bang, if you want. Chris. I’m part of an eight member group, Stray Kids.” He points to the little Stray Kids logo on the corner of the page. 

Khleo cranes her neck forward. “Huh?”

You reach for the paper out of curiosity. Chan had makeup on and silver chains over his face. He stared intensely, like he was ready to make a move. _/Damn./_ You look back at the real Chan right in front of you. He smiles cutely and waves. ..Your heart disintegrates a little. 

“So she already knows?” Khleo asks, processing. 

Chan exhaled a laugh. “She found out in a really weird way.” You and Chan explain the fansign event and introduce the members of Stray Kids. You add that they’re the ones making your phone go off and decide to mute the chat. 

“I still don’t know how she met any of them!” Chan mused.

“Another time, another time.” you persist. Throughout the whole ordeal, Khleo gets a better understanding of how you and Chan get along, and smiles smugly. At this point, you hear the jingle of keys and the sound of your door unlocking. “For fuck’s sake.” You cursed, well-aware that Amelia was about to make a scene.

Amelia steps in and freezes in place. _/Maybe she’ll be normal./_

She takes in the scene: Chan sitting on her bed, Khleo still holding a picture of Hyunjin, and you, holding the picture of Chan. 

“Wh-wha-wh-how-no no no no no! NO NO NO NO NO!” 

_/I was wrong./_ She rushes over to snatch the pictures away. She looks at Chan for a second, her face red as a beet. She lets out a whimper and darts out of the room, slamming the door shut. There was a brief silence.

“I’m sorry.” Everyone could feel the secondhand embarrassment. The most you could do was apologize on her behalf. “Very sorry.”

A couple of your neighbors come knocking to see if everything is alright thanks to Amelia’s shouting and door slam. You embarrassingly reassure them it’s fine. While you’re up, you see Chan and Khleo hugging. You felt so much better now that she was here and she knew about the real Chan. 

“Alright Kira, I’ve gotta go!” He says.

“Idol things, huh?”

His eyes lit up. “Idol things.” 

You give him a hug goodbye, familiarizing yourself with his faint cookie smell, and watch as he steps out. 

— 

Khleo knew your roommate was a little crazy from meeting her in the past. But seeing her freak out like that made her feel even more sorry for you. You assured her that she wasn’t really deranged, and that now, she was even a lot nicer. Ever since your trip to N Tower, Amelia watched her tone and greeted you more. 

Eventually, Amelia came back. She apologized to Khleo and curled up in her bed in embarrassment.

“He knows you’re a fan, don’t worry about it!” You insisted. She moaned in agony and crawled under the bedsheets. 

“Hey, by the way, I saw this cute girl on the way in.” Khleo said quietly.

“Ooooh!” you crooned. “What does she look like? Does she live here?” 

“Well I don’t know, she was standing outside with a camera. Maybe she’s like this super cool art kid.” 

Your expression faltered. “Dark, long hair in two braids?” 

Khleo nods.

“About my height, chunky black camera?”

Khleo nods a little slower. “Yeah, do you know her?”

You purse your lips. “Amelia. Hey.” She rolls over and peeks her head through the sheets.

“What are we gonna do about this stalker girl? Ever since you tweeted she’s been hanging around the building. I had to leave through the back.”

“Stalker?” Khleo tries to follow.

“Yeah I know. I don’t know. I’ve been going through the back too. But she can’t be that obsessed with me over a tweet right? Like she’ll leave soon.”

You bite your lip and come clean. “No, I don’t think she’s going anywhere. She’s Chan’s stalker.” Amelia sits up.

“Chan and I hung out one time and apparently she was following us. When I noticed her, she had called a bunch of other people with cameras and we had to run away.”

“Holy shit.” Khleo commented.

Amelia’s eyes bulge out of her head and she starts to panic. “No! No! This is my fault! She must be a sasaeng! I’m so stupid!” she starts to tear up. 

“I can fight her.” Khleo said happily.

“I thought you just had a crush on her!” 

“I don’t crush on sasaengs. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

You give her a little smirk before sitting besides Amelia, trying to comfort her. “With Chan coming over, it’s possible she would have hung around here either way.” You try.

“Yeah and it’s not your fault Chan has a stalker. People are just crazy.” Khleo adds.

“From now on, just think before you tweet y’know?” 

Amelia wipes her eyes and nods. “I need to sleep.” She says.

“No problem.” You dim the lights. 

You and Khleo decide to put on a KDrama and watch together with headphones. Into the night, she ends up falling asleep in the middle of an episode. You smile, grateful to have her back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y’all i’m a bit sick at the moment so i’m gonna have to put this on pause. it’s just a common cold but it’s fucking my brain up :( anyway hopefully i’ll get better and i can update again - ..aiming for next week (?) ,,ahh we’ll see 
> 
> happy holidays  
> -Jesse (2020.12.30)


	17. Chapter 17

You wake up at around 10 to find that Khleo already left. Amelia sat at her desk typing away. You decide to take the day easy since you were off of work. Plus, most of your classes were hybrid or online based, so there was no need to worry about it.

**Khleooo** ♡

**10:11 AM**

Are you up yet? 

I’m leaving Kim’s do you want something for breakfast?

Ask Amelia too.

You ask Amelia and text Khleo back.

**10:12 AM**

> Awww

> I’ll have a muffin and latte, Amelia wants an Americano <33

> Thank you

You make yourself presentable for the day and look through your phone until Khleo arrives. On KKT, you see that the group chat had a name change : ‘ _Kira Text Back’._ You skim over where you left off yesterday. 

**Yesterday 2:16 PM**

_HY: Kiraaa~_

_HY: Everyone is practicing_

_HY: Except for Chan heheheh_

You smile to yourself, knowing now that Chan wasn’t around because he came to see you. 

_CB: I can take a break_

_CB: Did you read the messages??_

_CB: Kira, tell me it’s not true_

< _Unread: > _

_CB: I just can’t picture Hyunjin..._

_LK: Are you wanting the details? Mind your business._

_SM: The story is a lie, Changbin._

_LK: Are you calling me a liar right now?_

_SM: Yes, Liar ❤️_

_I.N: Don’t fight~_

_FX: are we just gonna text in the same room_

_FX: guys we have to perform tomorrow_

Felix sends a voice note: “ _Let’s practice everyone~” -_ which is met with audible groans and no’s in the background. 

_LK: I’m so bored._

_FX: w-we’re supposed to be practicing hyung_

_LK: Anyway_

_CB: Kiraa where’d u go :(_

_LK: Do you guys like my cats_

_ <LK shared 3 photos> _

_I.N: Cute~_

_SM: You have cats?_

_FX: Cute~~_

_LK: I will kill you_

_CB: KIRA!_

_CB: Text back_

_HJ: She doesn’t have time for you_

_HY: She saw your face and left_

_ <CB is calling> _

_ <HJ has joined the call> _

_ <HJ has left the call> _

_ <Call Ended> _

_ <CB is calling> _

_ <Call Ended> _

_CB: MY FACE IS NOT SCARY_

“Kira?”

“Hm?”

“What are you laughing at?” You look up at Khleo holding your drink and muffin. “Oh, the guys.” 

“The guys??” Amelia perks up.

“Yeah, you know, the ones you have full-page printouts of.” You tease. 

Amelia slides out of her chair and lies on the floor. “Shut up.”

“Who are these guys anyway?” Khleo questioned.

“Yeah, I should probably look into them.” 

“Probably??? HELLO???” Amelia rolled toward her desk drawer and pulled out a signed physical album.

“GO LIVE! THEIR FIRST ALBUM!! That’s a limited edition please be careful.” 

You and Khleo open the black casing and look through the Stray Kids photo book. You see Chan with blue and purple hair and you can’t help but crack a smile. His signature is scribbled nearby along with a short message: ‘Amelia, I hope you enjoy your time in Seoul! Maybe I’ll see you again! ;)’

“Well, he saw you again.” Khleo comments.

Amelia’s face goes pink. “He did.” She rushes for her laptop and places it between you and Khleo on your bed. “You have to watch God’s Menu.” She refreshes the page and a Youtube video starts playing. You watch in awe as the transitions and verses come one right after another. Your heart starts to race when you see Chan singing and dancing. He was talented, for sure.

Khleo pauses the video. “What’s on his face?” 

“Chains. It’s hot.” 

“Agree.” You blurt. Both Khleo and Amelia give you a look, smile, then continue the video. In sync with Stray Kids, Amelia mimics the choreography and yells, “DU DU DU DU DU DU DU! IGE URI TANG! TANG! TANG TANG!”

The choreography and lyrics were amusing, and honestly, pretty fucking hard. Following the chorus was the biggest surprise. The tiny white-haired boy that clung onto Chan the first time you met, had the deepest fucking voice. You couldn’t let out a single word due to your shock. 

“What the fuck.” Khleo paused the video. “What the fuck.”

Amelia nodded her head, quickly. “Mhm! Mhm!” 

Khleo replayed Felix’s verse. “Wha…”

She replayed it again.

And again.

“What the fuck.”

You slid the laptop closer to you and pressed play so you could finally see what happens next. You smirked at the close up of the blonde-haired Hyunjin. “I met him at a club.” you mumble.

“What?” 

“Nothing.” 

The music video finishes and you’re genuinely impressed. “They’re really good.”

“THEY'RE THE BEST!” Amelia corrects.

“I can’t believe I met Chan like, five months ago...and…idol...” Khleo drifts into thought. 

“I made a good choice signing up as your roommate.” Amelia declares.

You throw a pillow at her. “Dick!” 

“You’re nice too! You’re sweet!” she yelped.

“Damn right!” 

“Chan is an idol.” Khleo seems to have grasped the idea.

“Chan is an idol.” You agree.

“Chan. Is. An. Idol.” Khleo talks like she’s testing the words. “Hey mom, yeah I’m friends with an idol.” she continues. “Yeah, he’s my best friend actually.” 

“Pleasee.” You roll your eyes. 

“Second best friend?”

“Damn right.” 

— - — - —

You spent the next hour watching music videos with the girls until Amelia had to go to class. You decided to get ahead on Korean III work since Khleo was there. She was born and raised in Busan until the age of 10, so her Korean was pretty much fluent. “A whole 10-page essay on Korean culture in Korean? They don’t go easy on you do they?”

“It’s what I get for being able to skip Korean I.” you sigh. 

“Yeah your Korean was pretty good when we first met.” Khleo reminisces.

“That was such a shitty time.” You shake your head.

You remember last January, about three weeks into living in Korea, you decided to go to the nearby coffee shop.

— - -

 _“Could I please order an Iced Vanilla Bean Latte please!”_ You try your best to enunciate and the cashier seems to understand. She had dark brown eyes, dark skin, and her hair was pulled back in a cute, puffy ponytail. _/Pretty./_

 _“Coming right up!”_ She winked at you and gave you your change. 

_“Thank you!”_

She handed the guy behind her the order slip. _“Order up, newbie!”_ Judging by her words, the guy seemed to be new - but he worked quickly and seemed like a natural. 

_“Next, please!”_

You caught a glimpse of the new guy’s name tag, _/Lee In./_ You tried to make yourself look busy while he made your drink, but couldn’t help overhearing the conversation between the cashier-girl and the customer that was behind you. It was an impatient middle-aged guy, and the cashier seemed to have misheard his order. He was ticked, and mumbled a slur.

_“Sir. I’m sorry to have gotten your order wrong, but please maintain respect.”_

He repeated the slur louder and replied, _“You should get my order right.”_

Lee In set your drink down and turned to the man. _“Hey! If you have a problem then leave!”_

The customer huffed. “Is _that any way to speak to someone older than you? Apologize!”_

_“Lee In, stop. I can handle this.”_

Lee In adjusted his apron and stood straight, even though he was shorter than the other guy. _“You’re the one who needs to apologize. How can you treat other human beings like that? You’re trash.”_ Lee In doubled down. _“If you don’t leave now, I will throw you out myself.”_

The few other customers sitting in the café watched in shock. _/This guy has a massive set of balls./_ The middle-aged man was taken aback. _“I will be calling your manager very soon!”_ He stomped away.

“Dude what the hell!” The dark-haired girl exclaimed. 

“He was being a dick!” 

“I could’ve slapped the shit out of him if I wanted! I can defend myself!” 

“A dick is a dick! Don’t get mad at me for being pissed!” 

She grunted and caught your eye. “Oh, sorry about that!” She faced the other customers. _“Sorry! Sorry! Please enjoy your drinks!”_

You were shocked at the fact the two spoke English, and also the fact that racism was an issue even in this country. “E-English?” You hesitate. 

“Oh, yeah! Are you American?” She recognizes your accent. “I lived in the states for a while. Florida, actually. And Lee In here is just talented.” The girl put her arm around Lee In and he waved at you. 

You take the opportunity to introduce yourself. “I’m Kira.” 

She extends her hand for you to shake and gives a warm smile. “Khleo.”

— - -

After getting some work done, Khleo said her goodbyes. She told Mrs. Kim she still needed the time off, which was for the best, and sent you a picture of the schedule. You had her shift tonight, from 4 until closing.

You sighed. _/Will he come around again?/_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm still sick but 300 hits letsfucking goooooo


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yup so some shit boutta happen , tw // stalking & there's some self-defense

12:57 AM.

You just about lost hope. All of your tasks were done and the shop was ready to go for the next morning. For the past twenty minutes, you’ve just been sitting, kind of hoping for that late night visitor. 

1:00 AM

You close up the cafe and start making your way to the bus stop. You’ve never taken the night bus, let alone walk by yourself this late, so you hold onto your pocket knife tight. Honestly, you knew that Korea was mostly safe and pocket knives were illegal, but you carried one just in case. There’s no way you could walk alone anywhere. Of course, pepper spray was an option, but you lent it to Amelia and never got it back. So, illegal knife it is. 

To get to the bus stop, you had to pass a couple blocks to get to the main road. The walk was eerie. You sped through the shadows between streetlights. You decided to put in an airpod and play something to help chill you out. Stray Kids played on shuffle, you try your best to figure whose voice was whose. It relieved your nerves for a while, but it didn’t last long. You sensed something - _someone_ following you. It was that feeling girls know too well. The presence of a creep. 

You pick up your pace. _/Should I look back? Should I confront them? Would it make it worse if I ran?/_ Your stress built up. You saw the bus stop, but no one was there. There was no way you could stop and sit there and let the creep approach you. You walked past the bus stop and kept walking until you couldn’t take it. You gripped tightly onto your pocket knife and turned around. A man around 180 cm was a few steps behind you, his face covered. The next few seconds went by slowly. 

As you turned, his eyes widened, but his pace didn’t falter. He took the opportunity to reach for your left wrist. Fortunately, you were right-handed. 

The song you had been listening to ended and another began. You heard a voice you weren’t too familiar with. _‘ah...okay...annyeong..’_

You smiled at how unique the intro was. The man, clueless of what you were amused by, hesitated at your grin. You pull your right hand out of your jacket and flick the pocket knife open. You realized how psychotic you must’ve looked to him. From his perspective, you were a short girl with an illegal weapon, smiling. You held onto the concept, trying not to let your heartbeat faze you. 

_“Crazy bitch_.” he grumbled.

He cautiously made his next move. Time went even slower. He went for your right wrist, trying to disarm you. You turn your body to dodge his attack. You shift the knife so your thumb was at the hilt and the blade faced him. You extend your arm so that the blade met the groove between his shoulder and neck. 

The man _moaned_. 

Bile met the back of your throat.

His grip loosens on your left arm. You pull it free and run.


	19. Chapter 19

You kept running. You got lucky. A sick kind of luck. How else would you have gotten out of that situation? You pull out your phone and dial 119. But - you stabbed him. You sliced a guy. With an illegal weapon. Why-how could you possibly call the police? The operator picked up.

“Uh-uh...” Suddenly you forgot your Korean. “There was a man, uh _I was attacked, man, man at bus stop ****, he attacked me-_ “ You were out of breath from running. 

“Attack you? Bus stop ****?” 

“Yes.”

 _“Where are you now?_ ”

You look at the knife in your hand, blood smeared on the silver blade. “Safe. Gone.” 

You hang up. The guilt began to ache. You knew you shouldn’t feel guilty, it was self-defense. You started to feel sick. 

You didn’t know how far you ran. In the distance you saw a familiar convenience store. You ran to it like it was your only hope. Before walking in, you flick the knife back into place and put it in your pocket. The man at the register was half asleep. You look around and see a guy in a hat. Your heart jumps in fear and tears start streaming. You knew it wasn’t the creep, but for some reason you felt so scared. You felt so alone and timid. The guy looks over at you and you cry harder when you recognize him. 

_“Noona? What’s wrong? Kira?_ ”

He was younger than you and had a baby face. Somehow, you felt so relieved to see him. _“Jeongin..._ ” 

_“Did something happen? Do I call the police?”_

You shake your head and hug him. Your tears stain his sleeve. He wavered for a moment, but hugged you back. 

You didn’t want to be alone tonight, and you didn’t want to wait for Amelia or Khleo. _“Jeongin, I don’t know where you live, I’m sorry to ask this, but can I stay with you for tonight?”_ You didn’t care how the question came off. You didn’t care where he lived or how you got there - all you knew was that you didn’t want to be alone. 

You felt him nod his head. _“Ne._ Yeah.”

— - — - —

The taxi ride felt long and cold. You hug yourself and keep your knees together, to feel some sort of safety. Jeongin kept a space between you and him out of respect. You pass the bus stop and see the man in the back of a police car. You didn’t quite process it. You thought back to the fear you felt. His grip on you. The sound he made. Tears fell. The cab stopped and Jeongin paid. Your eyes were so puffy, it was hard to keep them open. When you got out, you looked through squinted lids. 

_“We have to go a different way so I don’t get in trouble, ok?”_

You nod. You follow him, shoulder to shoulder, not wanting to open your eyes to see the streetlights all over again. He held your hand. When he opens a door, you feel a gust of AC. The tears felt cold on your cheeks. You squint and see elevators open. No one was around. You close your eyes again. 

You heard the beep of each floor, then the sound of the elevators opening. You make a right turn and stop. You listen closely to the sound of little beeps as he punched in a code, then the click of a lock. You take two steps forward, and he shuts the door behind you. You finally open your eyes. 

_“Um, it should be safe here.”_ Jeongin says quietly. _“I think everyone is asleep.”_

 _/Everyone?/_ He slips off his shoes and takes a few steps forward. _“It’s okay here.”_

You blink a few times and process what he says. You relax your shoulders and take off your shoes. There’s several other pairs.

_“I’m roomed with Han and Lee Know if that’s okay...”_

_/Oh, everyone./_ You nod. He leads you to a room dimly lit. You wipe your eyes to focus them. There’s a bunk bed on one side, then an empty single bed on the other. He points to the empty one. 

_“I’ll be back.”_ he whispers. In the middle of the floor was a plushie. You pick it up and sit down on his bed. You wipe your eyes for the thousandth time and take a deep breath. Jeongin comes back with a bunch of sheets and makes himself a bed on the ground besides you. _“Do you need anything? Is there anything I can do?”_ he asks. You wished there was something he could do to take the fear, guilt, and emptiness away, but knew there was nothing. You shake your head.

_“Try to sleep.”_

You slowly fall on to the bed. Suddenly, the plushy was the softest thing you ever felt. You hugged it as tight as you could. 

You started to cry silently. The muscles in your cheeks felt strained. 

You faced the wall and cried until you slept. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i hope that was kinda good heh  
> p.s. GONNA TAKE A WHILE WITH UPDATES! THANK YOU I LOVE YOU!


	20. Chapter 20

You feel a poke on your cheek.

_“Wow she must really be out.”_

_“Maybe she feels it in her dream.”_

Another poke. Your eye twitches out of instinct. 

_“Sh! Shut up! Sh!”_

_“I didn’t say anything!”_

_“I can feel you wanting to say something.”_

Another poke. 

The first thing you see is another set of eyes staring back at you. His eyes were so big, you couldn’t mistake them. Your voice came out as a whisper. _“Han?”_

He flinched backwards, creating space between you. You examine the two guys around you. Han sat on the floor while Lee Know stood beside him. 

_“Kira!”_ Han chuckles.

Lee Know crosses his arms. _“We should stop meeting like this.”_

The fainting incident at the fansign springs back to mind. It felt like a long time ago, but it’s only been a couple days. You exhale a laugh and rub your eyes. As you shake off sleep, the memories of last night come back to you. Tears well at the mere thought of it. 

_“Wae wae wae??”_ Han asks a series of _why’s_ when a few teardrops escape. You didn’t know why. You accepted that it would be like this for a while. That thinking of that night will instill a fear within you. You couldn’t help it.

 _“Sorry.”_ You chuckle through tears. Han picks up the plushie you hugged the night before and pulls it closer to you. _“Don’t cry Kira! It makes me sad! Awh...”_ he said it in a tiny voice to pretend the plush was talking. You cried a little harder and smiled. With the sunlight, you could see it was a little squirrel.

 _“I’m sorry_ baby, _I won’t cry anymore.”_ You went along with it and hugged the plush. Lee Know handed you some tissues and you dried off your cheeks. He sat down on the bed next to you. _“What happened last night?”_ he asked. You sat up and looked at your wrist. It was bruised. Lee Know saw. _“Who do we have to kill?”_

You chuckled again. 

_“Do you need to go to the police?”_ Han asked. You shook your head no. You felt your pocket. The knife was still there. You looked at the guys and bit your lip. _“Don’t be scared, but...”_ You slowly pull out the knife. 

They were both surprised, but not scared. Lee Know takes it and flips it open. He yells at the sight of blood and drops it out of his hands. _“DON’T BE SCARED?”_ He shouted. Han sat there unsure of what to do. The guilt came back to you. _“It was self-defense...”_

It went silent for a moment. They comprehend the situation. _“Did they catch him?”_

You nod. Lee Know regains his composure and heads to the attached bathroom. You could hear the sink running. You look up, trying not to cry again. Han scoots closer to you and holds your hand. When Lee Know comes back, he presents the silver blade. _“Like it never happened.”_

You stared at the clean knife. When you came to Korea last winter, a big box of your belongings came in the post from grandma. She tucked in the knife between layers of blankets with a sticky note attached; ‘Stay safe.’ It almost seemed like an accessory before. Something you kept on you everyday, just in case. You never actually thought you’d need it.

Lee Know tries to hand it to you but you shake your head. You didn’t want to hold it yet. “Ah...ok.” He says. 

Gears turn in your head. “What?”

He looked a little confused. “Uh..Ah...o-kay...”

You almost couldn’t remember why the phrase felt so familiar. Then, you hear the opening in your mind. _‘ah...okay...annyeong.._ ’ It was awkward timing but you couldn’t help but laugh. Lee Know glanced at Han, a little worried.

“Ah, ok! _Annyeong_!” you mimic. At first, Han’s wide eyes blink in surprise, but he quickly follows it with laughter. Lee Know was clearly confused. You try to explain yourself, _“It was you; you helped me! He thought I was crazy_!” He definitely needed more context. You muster up some courage in order to clear things up. You explain what really happened the night before. 

During the story, they told you the song was called Boxer - which made the whole thing a little ironic. You talked about how grateful you were to see Jeongin, and how kind he was. _“That’s our maknae.”_ Han grinned. You knew you weren’t over it, but talking about it made you feel a little less tense. When you finished, the boys comforted you. They convinced you that you were in the right and there’s no need to feel guilty. The urge to cry withered. You thanked them for their kindness and assume you’ve already taken up too much of their time.

 _“I should probably get going then...”_ You suggest. 

The guys share a look. _“Uh...”_

_“I don’t think that’s possible.”_

_/What?/ “What?”_

_“I’m not sure how you can leave without anyone...noticing..” /Oh./_ You glance at both of them. They stare back. “So?”

Han clicked his tongue, “So!” he nodded. 

“So, _I have to go to practice.”_ Lee Know said, turning around and grabbing some clothes. You sat there, perplexed. _“And what do I do? I have work today, and classwork to do?”_

 _“Call off.”_ Lee Know said coolly. He shut the bathroom door behind him. 

_“Haha, um, could you call off? I mean, after last night...and school, if it’s online you can work here! We have wifi!”_ Han was trying to stay as positive as possible.

_“You’re really saying there’s no way for me to leave right now?”_

_“See there’s...press...and crazy fans. And word gets around among idols. It would be very very bad for us. Jeongin knew that, but he said he just had to help you last night...”_ Han explained. 

You didn’t want to be caught up in some scandal, sure, but what the hell were you gonna do here? _/Ah, either way, I don’t want to work tonight./_

_“I’ll call off.”_


	21. Chapter 21

“JUMP! JUMP DAMMIT!” 

“YOURE GONNA LOOOSEEEE!”

Felix hit the controller out of your hands. “NO I FUCKING WON’T!” He shouted.

“CHEATING! CHEATING!” You look over at Seungmin who conveniently decides his phone was more interesting. 

“YOU SAW THAT I KNOW YOU SAW IT!”

He shrugs. You watch as your character, Link, falls to the ground with a KO. Princess Peach struck a pose. 

“You suck. Cheater.”

“Not sure what you’re talking about!”

You huff in gamer anger then check the time. 12:16 AM. You and Felix had been playing super smash bros since 11 yet it felt like you barely started. “So...’nother round?” He asked.

“Absolutely not!” You stand up from the floor and rest back on the couch next to Seungmin. 

After Han and Lee Know left that morning, you spent the day alone, submitting assignment after assignment on your phone. Apparently, Jeongin had left early for school and the other guys had already gone to practice. It turns out, no one knew you were at the dorms besides Jeongin, Han, and Lee Know. You were met with the uncomfortable position of having to explain your presence when Felix came home. 

— - -

_“Lee know has a gift for me, gift for me, gift for meee~”_

You hear singing outside of Jeongin’s room. Casually, you open the door to greet them.

 _“Hi I’m-“_ You were cut off by a deep-voiced _“What the fuck!”_

The two of you were wide-eyed. _“W-Why are you here? In Lee Know’s room? He’s not gonna be happy-“_ He clambers for his phone and dials. _“How did you get in? I don’t think you should be here-“_ You tried to answer him in between questions but he kept cutting you off. The other line picks up. You can hear a _“Hello?”_ on the other end.

_“Hyung, hyung, w-we have a situation-“_

_“Ah! Did you get home well Felix~”_

_“What? Yes? But hyung really-“_

_“Did you find my surprise?”_

_“Surprise?”_

You clasp your hands together and rock on the heels of your feet. “Hi.” You nodded.

Felix stares. _“Hyung...”_ He took a moment. _“So-so let me get this right, yeah? When you said...’surprise’...”_

 _“Ah! Ah! I see what you mean! No, I meant something ‘surprising’!”_ You could hear Lee Know’s cheerful tone and held in a laugh.

“Oh...Right. _Surprising...”_

 _“Okay! I have to get back to practice, see you soon!”_ Lee Know hung up.

“Right...” Felix repeats. “You could’ve messaged us.”

You were so busy with the schoolwork, you didn’t even think about it. “Oh...true...Yeah, I-I didn’t know...I thought they would’ve told you...”

It was awkward for a moment. 

Felix clears his throat. “You like Smash Bros?” 

— - -

In the end, Felix said it would be more fun if you kept it a secret. 

Not long after, Seungmin came. To your surprise, he took the situation a little easier.

— - -

Felix finished setting up the switch to the TV in the living room when Seungmin walked in. He stood there, glancing between you and Felix. _“Is this allowed?”_

You itched behind your ear uncomfortably.

 _“Probably not.”_ Felix answered.

 _“Ah.”_ He nodded. _“Well good thing our manager isn’t staying with us right now.”_ Seungmin walked to the kitchen to grab some fruit, then sat down beside you. 

_“Want some?”_

— - - 

Seungmin finished his fruit mix a while ago. You pick up his empty bowl so you can wash it, shrugging off his protests. The sink had a few other dishes from your lunch, so you took it upon yourself to wash it all up. 

Your thoughts start to wander and you tune out. Here you were in Stray Kids’ dorm. In Seoul. In Korea. It’s been over half a year and you’ve had so much happen, specifically this past week. Even still, it feels like you haven’t progressed much as a person. Progress was your main goal when you first came, yet you had nothing to show for it.

 _/What now?/_ You scrubbed a cup down carefully.

“KIRA!” Someone shouts directly in your ear, causing you to shatter the glass. Out of reflex, you grab their wrist and twist it. It was Han. Judging by the boys, Jeongin and Lee Know, laughing behind him - this was a joke. Your expression eased up, and you winked at the guys. The situation became an opportunity to scold Jisung.

“Really? After what I just went through Han?” 

_“_ Oh shit _, wait wait wait I didn’t think about it-“_ You twisted his arm the slightest bit, but not enough to really hurt him.

_“Wait! I’m sorry!”_

Lee Know stood there chuckling. You heard a quick _Ow!_ but instead of Han, it was Jeongin. He had made his way behind you just a second ago, and apparently tried to pick up the broken glass in the sink. _“I was gonna clean it up...”_ He faced his palm toward you to show the gash the glass made. Lee Know hurried over to catch any falling blood.

“I’m home-“ You turn toward the entrance of the dorm. Chan blinked. You still had a hold of Han who was kneeling on the floor - preparing to beg. Blood dripped down Jeongin’s hand into Lee Know’s palm. You stare at each other blankly. From the living room, you hear Felix and Seungmin exchanging Mario impressions, both unaware and unfazed by the ruckus. 

Chan took a deep breath. _“I’m going to step out, count to five, and try this again.”_ Yourself, Jeongin, Han, and Lee Know all nodded.

As soon as Chan stepped out, the four of you clamored. Lee Know quickly grabbed the first aid (which was concerningly nearby), and carefully walked Jeongin to the bathroom. You released Han, and he grabbed your hand to lead you to the living room. 

Chan opened the door. Han immediately starts to fake laugh. “Oh, haha haha Kira! You’re so funny!” You fake laugh in return. Felix and Seungmin kept playing. 

“I’m home!” Chan announced a little louder. 

_“Oh! Channie-hyung!”_ Felix paused the game and ran up to Chan to give him a hug. Chan returned the embrace warmly, but kept his eyes on you. 

_“Kira, what a surprise.”_ He smiled. _“Have you been here long?”_

_“Uh, since last night.”_

He looked puzzled. Seungmin let out a silent _woah._

Jeongin came back with his hand bandaged. _“She had a rough night so I brought her back here. I hope that’s okay hyung.”_

 _“We didn’t want any trouble either so she stayed the day, but she should be good to go soon.”_ Lee Know added. Chan seemed to be processing the info. He checked his watch. 

_“Well it’s late already,”_ he rubbed the back of his neck. “You want me to walk you home?” You felt a little embarrassed. “Well...” 

_“You can’t go back alone Kira!”_ Han held your hand again. He was kind of touchy, but it was endearing. You smile at him. “I guess so...”

Chan slipped his shoes back on. “Come on.” He smiles.


	22. Chapter 22

Going down from their dorm felt completely different than when you went in. This time your eyes were open. 

There was another dorm across from Skz’s, and at the end of the hall was the elevator. In the elevator, you notice a keypad below the buttons. It looked like a code was required to go up any of the floors. Chan presses the ground floor. When you step out, a gust of AC blows your hair. You end up in a small outdoor parking pavilion. You look for Chan’s fancy sports car but only see black and white vans.

“If you’re looking for the car, Changbin’s using it.” 

Changbin was the only one missing from the dorm room, but you assumed he was just practicing longer than the others. You start feeling a bit sus. “Is that like the chick-mobile or something?” 

Chan broke into a laugh. “Actually, he’s with his sister right now.” 

You bite down on your lip at the mistake. A taxi quietly pulls up. On the drive, you explained to Chan what happened the night before. You had to tell him for the sake of the guys and also because you felt an urge to. When you described the confrontation you had with the creep, you noticed how Chan’s fist clenched. He didn’t say much until the end. 

“I wish...” His jaw tightened. “I wish I could have been there.” Somehow, he seemed frustrated with himself. 

“Kira.” He grabbed both of your hands and looked into your eyes. “If you ever have to go anywhere at night, please don’t go alone. If you need to, call me and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Well, I can’t just-“ 

He held your hands tighter. “Just promise me you won’t go out alone again.” 

You knew you didn’t want to be saved or protected. You weren’t a damsel in distress and you had already defended yourself to prove that. But when you looked at Chan and saw both the sincerity and seriousness in his eyes, you knew it was deeper than that. It was written in his personality to protect others. He wasn’t just saying this to make you feel safer; he was asking this of you so he could feel more secure. It was in his blood to care.

“I promise.”

— - — - — 

After the taxi ride, Chan followed you in until the two of you stood awkwardly outside your door. He rubbed the back of his neck. “So...next weekend,” your heartbeat quickened. _/A date...?/_

“there’s a few birthdays coming up and the guys and I usually throw a little party.” _/A party?/_ You tried to picture Chan in a ‘party’ setting but came up blank. 

“It’s gonna be us and some of the members’ friends...do you maybe want to come too?” 

“Yeah, of course.” You don’t think twice. “Whose birthday?” 

“Han’s, Felix’s, and Seungmin’s too.”

“Oh _wow_ .” You raise your eyebrows. You knew that Han’s was soon since he mentioned it when you first met, but you didn’t know there were two more so close together. _/That’s a third of Stray Kids./_

“Yeah, don’t worry about gifts though! And you can invite your friends as well.” Your smile grew thinking about how Amelia would react. You couldn’t not invite her. Khleo was always in for a good time, and In? You exhale a laugh. “Do you guys need a DJ?” 

“DJ?” 

“In’s got a whole set, I think he’d like to show off a bit.”

Chan was a little surprised. You told him you’d talk to In first, and if he agreed you’d pass on Chan’s info so that he could set up. “I’ll give you more details about the party next week, it’ll be so fun!” He held up little fists and shook them in excitement. _/CUTE./_

“Alright! I’ll see you later.” He holds out his arms for a hug and you happily oblige. His clothes were always so soft. But this time, he smelled a bit like... _/Brownies?/_. 

You disregard it and release Chan. “See ya!” 

As Chan begins to walk away, you reach for your keys to unlock the door. Right before you turn the handle, a hand stops you. You look up at Chan, his eyes already fixed on yours. You tense when he raises his hand to cup your face. 

“Um,” You wanted to say something but it felt like your eyes were already having a conversation with his. Your heartbeat picks up. 

Chan leans down and plants a kiss on your cheek. With his face only inches from yours, he speaks in a low, quiet voice. “Don’t forget our promise.” 

You looked at his lips while he spoke. They were perfectly heart-shaped. A part of you wanted to see what they felt like. 

“I won’t.” You miss the heat from his hand as he picks it up to brush back a strand of hair.

“Okay. Goodnight then, Kira.” 

Your mouth tugs up at the way he says your name. “Goodnight.” It is a good night. An image of you and Chan stargazing crosses your mind. _/He likes stars, right?/_

Chan exhales a chuckle. “You gonna go in?”

You snap out of it, realizing you were exchanging goodbyes again. “Oh.” You pick up your feet and finally step into your dorm. It was pitch black, but the light from the hallway illuminated Amelia’s sleeping form. You look back and Chan waves. You wave in return. And just like that, the door closes and he’s gone.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mini onee

You woke up early for a morning shift at Kim’s and finished at 4. Your dorm was empty once again. You lie down just to think. 

Before, you had a set routine and lived day in, day out. But since that night you met Chan, it all went completely out of order. Every day of the past week, your life has intertwined with Chan’s. You managed to meet him, Hyunjin, Changbin, Han, and Jeongin, all by chance. It was fun being around a new set of people. Seeing a bunch of guys your age acting like a real family put all the boys you were used to, to shame. Even when you endured something traumatic, there was a strong sense of heart. You had never experienced such comfort around that many men before. 

On top of that, there was their individual personalities that you were still learning. You knew Han was the sensitive funny guy, Lee Know with the hard shell and soft heart, and Jeongin who was like a mature younger brother. Then Seungmin, who was more laidback and playful than he looked. Felix’s eccentricity and bright personality; Changbin’s spirit and cuteness; Hyunjin’s boldness and charm. 

And Chan’s...

_ /His smile...his laugh...his protective instincts...the way he cared for you, the way he cares for others. His accent, his eyes, he’s daring when he wants to be. He has these little dimples and the way he-/ _

You catch yourself. You knew that he was handsome. When the two of you got lunch, you knew you liked his personality. The small kiss on the cheek from the night before made your heart rush. Everything was lining up and it was clear that a crush was in the works. 

But  _ this _ ? 

Thinking about his dimples? 

Yeah.

You had it bad.


	24. Chapter 24

You decided that the best way to deliver the news about the party would be over dinner. After making your way through a couple of streets and alleyways, you arrive at a tiny restaurant called _Gosami._ About an hour ago, you messaged a group chat with Khleo, Amelia, and In to meet you. _/Hopefully, everyone can go next weekend./_

The party’s been on your mind and you had about a million questions. _/How many people are going, total? Where is it gonna be? Are you gonna have to sneak everyone into the dorms? What’s the party vibe in Korea? Is anyone gonna get drunk?/_

Amelia spots you and takes the seat across. 

“Long day?” You ask, taking note of the heavy bags under her eyes. 

“Two different science lectures. Two hours of studying. Very long Wednesday.”

Khleo and In come in together. “Yayy! Everyone’s here!” You cheer. Amelia greets the others and pulls out the chair next to her to offer a seat. In plops down and Khleo takes the seat beside you. You call the server over and order for the table, “ _Kimchijigae, Samchi, Godeungoe, 2 orders of spicy squid, and cola all around; please and thank you.”_

“Wow, what’s the occasion?” Khleo asks. 

“Yeah I didn’t see you for two nights.” Amelia comments. A round of _Oooh’_ s makes your ears go pink in embarrassment. 

“Actually, night one I stabbed a guy, so”

In does a double take. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah this guy followed me and tried to attack me,” you take a heavy breath, trying your hardest to keep your anxiety under control. “so yeah.” The others seemed to notice you had trouble talking about it and avoided questions. 

“Well I’m glad you’re okay Kira.” Khleo took your hand. You give her a reassuring smile and carry on.

“But last night, I got an interesting invitation involving all of us!” Everyone’s attention tapped in. “Chan said he’s throwing a party and he wants us all to go.” You look around as your friends process this. 

Khleo’s eyes lit up, “That’s great!” 

In covered his mouth, “ _Woah, woah, an idol party!?”_

Amelia’s eyes searched yours to make sure you weren’t lying. Her breathing picked up. “Kira, Kira, Kira you-you can’t joke about this-“

“I’m not! That’s why I brought you all here!” 

“Kira, PLEASE tell me you’re being 100% serious PLEASE!” 

“Amelia, I’m being 100% serious.” 

She inhales sharply, but In acts quick, covering her mouth. A hint of a scream can be heard; you thank In for saving the four of you from being kicked out. 

“I’m surprised he’s letting you come.” In shakes his head.

“Oh and In, _would you be interested in DJing for the party?”_

His eyes light up. _“Does Chan want me to?”_

 _“He said it’d be cool.”_ In reaches for your hands and holds them tightly. _“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”_

You laugh at his excitement. In loved to DJ. Even though it was his night job, he never saw it as anything less than a hobby or passion. “No problem, I’ll let Chan know!”

The food arrives and you all grab a serving. The kimchi stew was incredible. It was tangy and paired perfectly with the _Samchi,_ grilled fish. Khleo and Amelia tore up the squid, and In took in a good amount of each. 

The four of you make plans for the weekend to figure out outfits and gifts. When dinner’s wrapped up, you say your goodbyes to Khleo and In. On the walk back, Amelia gushes over the party. 

You chuckle to yourself.

“Hey! What’s funny?” She pouts. “I’m just really excited.” 

You smile back at her. 

“I think I’m really excited too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw majority of the places i mention in this story are real !! Gosami is a little restaurant near Yonsei University (where Kira & Amelia attend) and the Lotte World building is real as well !! You can find more info on Gosami through Google or instagram, and I'll give links to media in future chapters to go more in depth and to serve as a visual aid !  
> thx xx


	25. Chapter 25

The next day, you woke up around 10 AM and spent your time studying before your 1:30 class. After it ended, you took a quick nap and went off for your shift at the café. It was a late night again, so you brainstormed ways to get home safe without having to call Chan. Maybe there would be a late night straggler at the café you could ask to walk you. Even then, that could be asking for another vulnerable attack. Or maybe it’d be safe this time, maybe that was a once in a lifetime thing. You kept your thoughts moving and pushed through the night. At around 12:40, the bell rings, signaling a customer. 

_“Welcome to Kim’s,”_ you recognize him.

 _“My savior!”_ He jokes.

 _“Changbin!”_ You make your way from behind the counter to offer him a hug. Unlike Chan’s sweet, natural scent, Changbin had a thin layer of cologne. 

_“What brings you here?”_ You ask.

_“Well I wouldn’t mind a drink.”_

_“Of course,” Y_ ou make your way back around. _“_ _Whatever you want, on the house.”_

Changbin protests but you win in the end. You hand over an iced Americano free of charge and sit across from him. It started to rain outside, which made the mood comfier. You make small talk for a while and the conversation becomes more natural. 

_“Hey, are you busy tomorrow?”_ He asks.

No work, no school. _“ No, I’ve got nothing planned.”_

 _“Well...there's a few birthdays coming up, so I need to buy gifts at the mall. You wanna come with me?”_ He traces the rim of his cup. You give it a think but you already know your answer. Changbin seems like a cool enough guy, and you wanted to get to know Chan’s friends a little better anyway. “ _Yeah, absolutely.”_

— - — - —

As Changbin took you home, the conversation went from music taste to childhood anecdotes to what an everyday schedule looks like. _“ I either wake up, go to work, then study; or wake up, study, then go to work.”_ You were accustomed to your routine but there were several times you wanted to break free from boring everyday life. Changbin felt the opposite. 

_“It’s hard having to do different things every other day. If we have a comeback it’s performance after performance - which makes it hard to find a routine time to practice more and exercise. Then there are tours, there’s no time to do anything, really.”_

You lead the way to the back entrance of your building, then take an elevator up. _“What’s it like on tour?”_ You had genuine curiosity.

 _“Hmm...It’s fun. There’s no time to practice since we’re always on the road or catching a flight. But the shows make up for everything. It makes my career feel more real.”_ You nod, trying to imagine the guys in concert. You step off the lift and walk toward your room. 

_“You should come to a show, sometime. Or just a performance.”_ Changbin suggested. You didn’t even know where to go to buy a ticket. _“Oh, I couldn’t-“_

_“Come to our performance tomorrow morning. We can go to the mall after.”_

You stuttered unsure of whether you should accept. 

_“I’ll text you the time and the address. If you want to come, you can. I’ll see you at the mall either way though, right?”_ You nod. He was surprisingly assertive. You stop at your door. 

_“Well, thank you for walking me.”_

Changbin slipped his hands in his pockets and stood opposite. Just the other night, you were in a similar situation, except Chan…

You reach for your keys. 

“ _It’s no problem.”_ He rocks on his heels.

“ _See you tomorrow?”_

He nodded. “ _See you.”_


End file.
